I think I have somehow managed to jot down nearly 500 poems to date - many while stopped at red lights!
For some reason, the words come easier when I am traveling and, of course, in the shower!
Go figure!
Hope you enjoy these few... and I hope you enter the contest!
WHAT FRIENDS DO
mary jane holt
A stranger by the way
Is all you were that day
But a friend you became
Ere you ever knew my name
The tears I saw you shed
O'er that one who now was dead
Became as my tears, too
For that is what friends do
A BRIEF ETERNITY
mary jane holt
There will never be a day
when I shall not
think of you
long for you
wonder
what your touch
would have been like
ALWAYS
mary jane holt
always
I see you before me
in the mirror of my heart
and you must know
that a part of you
will be with me forever
wherever I go
and in some distant world
some day
there will be a way
for me to show you
how it was your love
that paved the way
for my journey
through here today
how the crossing of our paths
for that brief moment
gave me the courage
to continue
toward the end and beginning
which we shall come to know as one
for that at the end
where eternity begins
I shall be waiting for you
To A Wandering Stranger
mary jane holt
Friend...
Is it that your soul
is but a mirror of my own
or do you see into all hearts
as you see into mine
Is there such transparency
or do you alone know
where to look
what to see
how to understand
where I have come from
who I am
So many years of
wondering searching longing...
Yet, knowing
some blessings to be
too painful to hold
I shall never say
"I found you"
for you were never
meant to be
mine to find
It would seem
there are paths
meant to cross
as ships in the night
their reflections echoing
across dark waters
to become one
for but a fleeting moment
ere continuing on
towards the distant ports
of other lands
and other worlds
where others stand
waiting looking longing
for their turn
to know a welcome
if ever so brief
relief from aloneness
I Have Known Love
mary jane holt
I have known Love
and Love knew me
and we were acquainted
intimately
but not for long
only long enough
for me to see
beyond me
and to learn that
only upon letting go
of what we long to hold
so tightly to our breast
... … … only then
shall we know love
as we pass its hardest test
THE UNTAMED HEART
mary jane holt
the untamed heart knows no caution
unable to follow
the beat of the familiar drum
it is born to know freedom
to feel
to live, to laugh
to cry, to sigh
to the beat
to the rhyme, to the rhythm
of love
pure and sweet
the heart untamed
acknowledges restraint
as naught
but an enemy
to the liberty
for which it will die
if need be
FREEDOM
mary jane holt
freedom to fly
into hearts everywhere
is mine
it is a freedom
I take
not lightly
for as the sun shines
and the rain falls
and the seasons
come and go
even so
I shall live
to know
another world
where I shall soar
and attain unto
greater heights
with wings no earthling ever knew
it is what follows
this wonderful freedom
to fly
into hearts everywhere
eternal bliss
ever mine
from here to there
and beyond all time
WISDOM'S OPEN HANDS
mary jane holt
as you held me there in open hands
so near to your heart
you could have draped strong fingers
gently, firmly
around my fragile wings
and held me close forever
in the warmth and safety of your grasp
you knew
I would not have fluttered
or fought for my fading freedom
you knew
how I would have welcomed the shelter
you knew
about the protection that I longed
to know
but you knew, too, that protection
was not my greater need
you could have clipped my wings
and held me close forever
to your heart alone
I would have let you and never struggled
to know freedom's pain again
I would have welcomed
the shield of your hands
around my woundedness
instead you allowed me to rest
and to linger long as I learned to know well
the tenderness found in wise and healing hands
...hands which permitted the mending
of broken places on the wings
that had been teaching me to fly
before the crash
open hands which
gently, firmly reminded me
all the while I nestled there
of the freedom that was mine to reclaim
"some day"
and of the gift that had been given me
to fly into all hearts everywhere
ALWAYS
mary jane holt
always
you are there
moving in and out
of the moods of my life
like shadows on a dark
and windy day
subtly influencing every thought
wrought in the recesses of my mind
in all the corners where I try to hide
to decide alone
what way I shall take...
only to find that my choice
once more
brings me along the same road you are traveling
VICTORIOUS
mary jane holt
it had been a long day
Discouragement knocked
but an exhausted Faith
ignored the sound
so Discouragement knocked again
while Faith continued to ignore him
throughout the almost endless evening
yet Discouragement continued to knock
again and again
and Doubt came to stand by his side
tired and troubled
Faith turned to Hope
who silently appeared
somehow from somewhere
"should we confront them?"
she whispered
as Discouragement and Doubt
continued to knock
louder and louder
Faith and Hope
together turned
--not to open the door--
but to their Father in prayer
and
the long day and long night
saw the morning dawn
to find Peace
make his presence known
and the knocking grew quieter
With the fullness of the new day
came once more
a new knock upon the door
this time
Faith opened it to find
Charity
battle-worn and weary
alone on the porch
victorious
and now abideth
Faith, Hope and Charity
all through the long days and nights of our lives
for Charity never fails and Peace forever
TONIGHT
mary jane holt
Tonight
his memories are of yesterday
of the smell of the sea air
and of the way the silver moonlight
came dancing off the water's edge
to slip through the windows
of their souls
Tonight
he holds her close in his heart
as he once held her close in his arms
and the fragrance of her lingers still
upon his neck
and in his mind
Tonight
in his aloneness
he knows
he will never be alone again
for he shares with her and she with he
a oneness which will always be
forever theirs
Tonight
for a moment
he feels once more
the brief tears she cried
as the sun dawned over yesterday's
long hard never-to-be-forgotten mountain
locking into its place forever
their one eternal night of love
Tonight
as her haunting fragrance
fills the air
he knows that she too remembers
and that no matter where she is
the very essence of all she is
all she ever has been and ever will be
will always be with him
Where Are You, God?
mary jane holt
God?
Yes?
Where are you?
I am here
I cannot see you
I see you
I cannot feel your presence
I am near
I am frustrated, angry and afraid
I can tell
I am worried
I'm not
I have so much I must do!
I am watching
I am tired
I offer rest
I cannot accept just now
I know...
I do not understand
I do
What can I say? What can I do?
I? I? Must it always be "I"?
I...I mean "we, what must we do?
Anything. Everything. All things. What ever really needs doing.
…....
My child?
Yes?
I am here.
I know.
WHAT ONLY YOU CAN DO
mary jane holt
"and leave undone forever what only you can do"
words which haunt me ever
as daily I am pulled
tossed to and fro
always on the go
demands ... here / expectations ... there
so I stand still
though I want to move to somewhere
but where is somewhere?
and why must I go there?
there is so much I want
to do, to say
someday
but when is someday?
and will I know it when it comes?
direction is unclear
a low and winding road beckons
a lovely valley lies below
the ocean calls, the mountains, too
and oh! how I want to go!
but yon path looks smooth and straight...
so, I linger here to await
a word from You
to join the crowd seems right
when "they say" we can win if I join the fight
and perhaps we could win a battle, maybe two
but war will wage on
and what will it all matter
when I face You
if I have left undone forever
what only I could do?
DON’T BOX ME IN
mary jane holt
Don’t box me in
don’t draw me lines
I shall step over
I shall break through
knowing
sudden death
to be better
than suffocation
Henceforth
mary jane holt
Henceforth, I shall value only that which I can take with me when I die
and that is only what I give away
FASCINATION
mary jane holt
Fascination stopped to visit today
my station
in life
lifted for a while
by the rank and style of such a royal visitor
A New Song
mary jane holt
I think my soul wrote a song
I didn't record yesterday
for today I'm humming
a new tune
and
truth and beauty are applauding
there's not enough of me
mary jane holt
there's not enough time in the day
to know all the people
I want to know
to say all the things
I want to say
to write the songs
and
to hear the music play
to the tune of tomorrow
and
of yesterday
but
I shall continue
and
I shall live
and
I shall give myself away
for
there's not enough of me
to keep me to myself
I WATCHED THE WATERMELON GROW
mary jane holt
To study life
or
about life
was the question
I posed me
The doorbell rang
a neighbor stayed
my son played
I watched
the watermelon grow
and
the biggest potatoes
I ever saw
then I climbed a tree
and laughed in glee
all the while
I studied life
and life studied me
You Are Somebody
mary jane holt
I don't have any better sense
than to just go barging in
to people's lives when they're hurting
'cause I've been there
and I've wondered if anybody cared
so when I care
I want to show it
or how'll they know it?
Oh, sure!
I know there's always prayer
and I could just pray
that God would meet the need
and heed the cry of each aching heart
and do His part
to make it all better
and I could ask Him to send somebody
to feed or clothe or comfort
but then there was that time
I asked Him to do just that for them
and he said to me
"You Are Somebody"
I lived to laugh
and cry
and wonder why
and wait
until
another day
to die
then live again
to never cry
alone again
to only smile
and sigh
to know that
"why"?
does not matter
anymore
The Front Porch Light
mary jane holt
Oh, the waves are green and the waves are long
and the cold wind blows so lonely at night
while all seems so calm in the light of day
like earth's inequities can be made right
but when the sun sets in uncertainty
and the dark winds blow with power and might
then one longs for home and the peace that comes
with just one glimpse of the front porch light
I’M HAPPY
mary jane holt
I’m happy
and it’s so hard to write
when I’m happy
‘cause I have to be still to write
and it’s hard to be still
when there are flowers to smell
and songs to sing
and
life’s like that
with butterflies all around
when I’m happy
and
all the world’s my stage
and the birds sing with me
as if their cue is mine
and
we are one
‘cause their song IS mine
when I’m happy
and
sad gets put on hold
ONLY LOVE SHALL REMAIN
mary jane holt
Somewhere
beyond today
out on the edge of tomorrow
oblivious
to all my yesterdays
I shall stand
with but a faint memory
of today's pain
for it, too, shall fade
and only Love shall remain
In Her Embrace
mary jane holt
in her embrace
I sigh
inside I die
for I know anger
and she knows me
my constant companion
she
but I shall be
one day free
of the prison
her hands hath made
because I stayed
deceitful her ways
necessary she says
to protect me...
I'd as soon be dead
for in her arms I die
a little each day
her chains choking me
cutting off my breath
like death
though I do not forget
how once I sighed
in her embrace
IT MATTERS NOT
mary jane holt
I read not what the world expects
and write naught for another’s praise
It matters not
if my pen’s stroke doth an eyebrow raise
I’ll giggle
I condescend to no man’s ways
and always will follow my heart
it matters not
if, at times, I do not know where to start
I’ll wait
I seek not to follow the crowd
for following breeds vanity
It matters not
if only a lonely bird sings for me
I’ll listen
I trust but the one God I know
and hold I tight unto His hand
It matters not
if others doubt and do not understand
I’ll trust
I act not on another’s faith
Nor can another act on mine
It matters much
that each must find his own faith
in his own time
THE PRICE
mary jane holt
there is a price one pays for fame
a cost -- be it small or great
to have a recognizable name
to aspire to heights unknown
to never stop
until the summit of each mountain
is claimed -- and to look down again
is not all it’s cracked up to be
for along the way, a while ago
back at some near-forgotten bend
there was a little house by the side of the road
where stayed one who lived in the shadows
and longed to be my friend
but I lingered not,
for I had a ways to go ere the day should end
and now I cannot go back
oh! the fields lie painted with rainbow colors
before me -- and breathtakingly beautiful
is the expanse of the heavens I now can see
and fulfilled I should be
my promise to me unbroken
but somewhere just down the hill
and back a ways
my heart stayed
and
it was a high price I paid
Timin’
mary jane holt
I don't understand
when they say they waitin' for your timin'
I know they say they prayin' for me, Lord
but it feels like I just be in need of a hug
like the rug's bein' pulled out from under me
and I'm fallin' and I sure could use a hand
I'd just 'preciate it so much if somebody'd come a calling
but they all just seem to be a stallin'
and I don't know how long I can keep on a livin'
if they keep on a waitin' for your timin'
instead of just reachin' out and helpin' me
cause I need help now Lord
I need a friend real bad
I don't remember no beginnin' and can't see no end
I'm a feelin' tired and hungry and lonely and cold
and I ain't got no understandin'
while I sets here a shiverin' is this damp, dark abode
that's gettin' darker and darker
no I don't understand why
they say they still a waitin' for your timin'
I don't understand, Lord
alls I know is I'm cold and it's just a gettin' colder
My Way
mary jane holt
‘tis good to know
what is proper!
not so much
for the doing
as for the knowing
for I shall
do this thing
my way
THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND
mary jane holt
Throwing all caution to the wind
I let my words fall where they may
I let my heart write what it would say
To people everywhere
Who long to know they are not alone
Even when loved ones are suddenly gone
Hopes crushed and dreams shattered
Though all that ever mattered
Lies broken at their feet
I hope my words will fall there, too
Like rose petals of promise
Whose fragrance wafts upward
Into the recesses of the soul
Which would refuse to face another day
If it were not for these words
My heart so longs to say
God's grace is sufficient
His love everlasting
His way not always our way
Is what I would say
To that one who fears to face tomorrow
Were God's judgments not tempered
With unending mercy
None could withstand
The touch of His hand
But His hand reaches down
Not to hurt or destroy
Because of the anger I know He must feel
Since our mistakes and failures are so very real
Instead
His hand reaches out to you and to me
To guide us gently
When there's not enough light to see
The path which lies before us
Or glimpse the goal that's just ahead
When there is not enough faith to envision
A victory on some distant shore
When there is only anger and anguish and pain
When it seems there is no way to win
And nothing to gain
By continuing to trudge along in this world
Then
That hand
His hand
Reaches out to touch His own
And with a gentle nudge that's His alone
He turns His children toward the Morning Light
With a firm assurance once again
That the darkness they have known for so long
Will soon know its appointed end
Indeed
I must throw all caution to the wind
And let my pen fall where it may
For in the end
I, too, find hope
In what my heart does long to say.
Is God Enough?
mary jane holt
You may ask me if God is "enough?"
I shall smile as I answer...
"Quite enough," I shall say
The road may be long and weary
But He stays by our side day after day
You see, He has traveled to every place
There is no destination we reach
where He has not been before
Every temptation that we ever face
He goes through it with us...
He walks first through every door
He has never turned His back on us
He holds our hand
Through sorrow, pain, and shame...
I admit... His face we cannot always see
But the great "I AM" is true to His name
I KNOW, for whenever I pause to look back
Coincidences beyond imagination
Mark my path and His presence is a fact
Far beyond Life's most complex explanations!
Cry Not For Me
mary jane holt
Cry not for me in the dark hour
for like the window of my youth
death shall be but a window
through which I shall climb at the appointed time
so that I might slip away on my continued quest
for knowledge of that One I first sought to know so long ago
Think not that death's momentary darkness shall defeat you.
Victory will be yours, too
For, somewhere, the stars shine and I among them shall shine for you
and I shall help to light the night
for you to see how to come to me when it is right for you to follow.
So, fear not the days ahead;
simply trust that it was right for me to go before you
and know
that I shall wait on the other side
with arms open wide to welcome you
to bid you enter into the eternal glory
that is ours to share with Him and them…
forever and ever and for all time!
I Have Known Love
mary jane holt
I have known Love
and Love knew me
and we were acquainted
intimately
but not for long
only long enough
for me to see
beyond me
and to learn that
only upon letting go
of what we long to hold
so tightly to our breast
...only then
shall we know love
as we pass its hardest test
ECSTACY
mary jane holt
Like a bird born to fly
in the great expanse of all the sky
my soul
knows an ecstasy which knows no control
when I’m with You
no boundary
only joy
as an all encompassing Oneness
with all that is forever
is mine
as I am Yours and You are mine
for I love you, Lord!
DON’T BOX ME IN
mary jane holt
Don’t box me in
don’t draw me lines
I shall step over
I shall break through
knowing
sudden death
to be better
than suffocation
HIS CAPACITY FOR CARING
mary jane holt
Contemplating
his capacity for caring
I wonder
if lately
his senses
have become dulled
where once there was fertile soil and flowers bloomed
now - cares of the world
have grown up
like thorns
to choke
the fragile flowers
…even their fragrance
lingers no more and the air is still.
Some Days
mary jane holt
Some days
I think of you
and breathe
a prayer
that God
will keep you
all days
in His care
and He remembers
though I forget
because He is God
and I remember
that His love for you
surpasses any I ever knew
though
some days
I still think of you
FASCINATION
mary jane holt
Fascination stopped to visit today
my station
in life
lifted for a while
by the rank and style of such a royal visitor
In the Light of Eternity
mary jane holt
It is when friends fail,
dreams fade,
or a life-threatening illness strikes,
that the reality of God’s presence
and His willingness to be involved
in every detail of our lives becomes apparent.
That reality gets one thru the dark nights,
filled with loneliness
fear
confusion
anger
and
pain
until the morning comes.
Then in the light of His presence
all other realities grow dim and lose their control
as an awareness of the eternal takes hold.
For indeed, what does it all matter in the light of eternity?
At first my prayer was
"God, hurry please and get me well
I have so much to do"
And then my prayer became
"God, thank you for this special time I have to spend with you."
time to recognize anew the value of health and strength
but to grasp also the courage it takes to learn to lean
time to listen and hear once more the song of the distant mockingbird
to witness the red birds, blue birds and robins adorn the front yard
to watch the squirrels romp and play out back
while a whole covey of quail feeds in the turnip patch
time to appreciate the beauty, joy and peace of aloneness
time to read books, magazines and articles acquired in recent months
when it seemed there was no time to read them
time to renew ageless friendships with old and familiar books
and explore again the well worn pages of my favorite
time to listen to good music and the heart thoughts of a friend
time to care and share and know anew the value of prayer
At first my prayer was
"God, hurry please and get me well
I have so much to do"
And then my prayer became
"God, thank you for this special time I have to spend with you"
FREEDOM
mary jane holt
freedom to fly
into hearts everywhere
is mine
it is a freedom
I take
not lightly
for as the sun shines
and the rain falls
and the seasons
come and go
even so
I shall live
to know
another world
where I shall soar
and attain unto
greater heights
with wings
no earthling
ever knew
it is what follows
this wonderful freedom
to fly
into hearts everywhere
eternal bliss
ever mine
from here to there
and beyond all time
I think my soul wrote a song
I didn't record yesterday
for today I'm humming
a new tune
and
truth and beauty are applauding
Henceforth
mary jane holt
Henceforth, I shall value only that
which I can take with me when I die
and that is only what I give away
I want to go home
My eyes are swelling
They burn
I can barely see
My heart is aching
It hurts
I long to be free
From this pain inside
That stings
When I pause to think of them
From the hurts that hide
As part of a past
Now growing dim
My gaze looks upward
To One Who offers His Hand
And says,
“Walk forward
I am here
I shall help you to stand
Linger there no longer
There are mountains ahead
Get out of the valley
Let's start climbing instead"
The call through the hills came ringing
And started my heart to singing
For I knew the day would come
When I would understand
Why it was best
That things had not worked out
As I had planned
From heavenward
The voice came again,
"You must linger there no longer
Do not dare to think you will fail
You just think you need to be stronger
But you have a story to tell NOW
And your story will ring around the world
As people hear from the heart of a girl
Who decided early to seek, to find..., to live!
For through her
Demonstrations of grace will God give!"
It was in the valley she shed the tears
But on the mountain she found she could stand
And sing!
Smiling as she looked back down through the years
Knowing it was I Who had held her hand
Through everything.
As we traveled together I told her
That Satan would fall before her
Because of his defeat my Me at Calvary
That he would see our arrival
At our Father's throne of grace
And he would see
The glow upon her face
A glow he would never again erase
Yes, he will see her there
And he will know she won
When he sees her standing beside God's son
It was side by side we traveled
Though she did not always know
For her faith often faltered
And sometimes she did lose her glow
But there was never a time I left her
I had PROMISED to stay
And though she was tempted to wander
She walked with me day by day
It was a memorable journey
Indeed! A time we will not forget
She knows I supplied her every need
And paid her every debt
She knows she is cherished among women
Because I have told her so
She is one for whom I left Heaven
Just to let her know
That is all we ever sought
When with my blood she was bought
God, Our Father and Me
We wanted to set her free
Perfection
She could not reach it
And no one knew how to teach it
But perfect she thought she must be
So it was grace she had to see
And grace was shown to her repeatedly
Each time there was a big unanswered "why?"
Every single time she could not understand
Each time she wanted to give up and die
It was grace that equipped her for each demand
In all things she came to see God's Hand
Yes, through the years
She learned to recognize His Hand
For indeed! It was the Hand of Her God
The Hand of God alone
The Hand of One Who loved her
Who led her all the way home.
i have danced with death
mary jane holt
I have danced with death
and flirted with dying
many times i have done this
and walked away
after each encounter
- more free to be me -
a stronger woman
happier
more alive
more aware
more free of all the walls
i had foolishly imposed
on myself
in times past
necessary walls
then
unnecessary now
that i have danced
with death
many times
Alone In The Storm
mary jane holt
I have felt alone in the storm.
I have known the paralysis of fear
and in its grip heard the reassuring voice
of the fearless One whisper softly,
"Lo, I am with you always."
I have known the fury of defeat
and in such knowledge, heard the voice of victory
call calmly to me from the next room,
"Lo, I am with you always."
I have known fierce crippling pain
and in the midst, heard indescribable compassion
in the voice of One whose understanding made it bearable,
"Lo, I am with you always."
I have known bleak despair
and in its hold heard One whose Father once turned away
speak gently to remind me of His continuing presence,
“Lo, I am with you always."
I have known a cold darkness
and in the black mist heard the voice of the Light of the world
burst forth with a promise of gladness and guidance
"Lo, I am with you always.”
I have known anger
And in its prison heard the tender voice of One
Who knows me so well
Who understands my thoughts from afar
Who knows my downsitting and my uprising
Who is intimately acquainted with all my ways
Who sees my going out and my coming in
Who scrutinizes my path and my lying down
Whose presence is too wonderful to proclaim
Whose existence cannot be explained
One Who eases in and out of the avenues of my life
as the wind that blows, permitting me to know not
from whence it comes or where it goes...
I only know that it moves my hair and cools my cheek
and continuously whispers ever so softly and tenderly,
"Lo, I have been, I am…
and I will be with you always even unto the end of the world!"
I have felt alone in the storm, but I never was...
© Mary Jane Holt