2011 marks the 25th year of my weekly newspaper column! It, and the thousands of people I have met through it, continually bless me!
I try to update this page from time to time, but you can access my latest weekly column anytime at www.fayettedailynews.com and click the Opinion Page. Just look for Holt when you get there and you will find the latest! God bless you... and yours...

OH! and you email me anytime at maryjaneholt@aol.com

MARY JANE HOLT column for 2-8-2011

By request here is a reprint of one of my 1987 columns:

It is not always comfortable to speak, to reach out, and to care for others who share common feelings of inadequacy and fear, especially a fear of dying.
Through the years, many of the problems and heartaches facing those older than I have become my own as I have sought to learn and to understand much of what they share. Probably the most heartrending thing I see is that many live in fear of tomorrow, afraid of growing older, and afraid of dying. There are those who will take any measure, going to any and all lengths to postpone, deny, or avoid the pain brought on by the aging process. Such fear quite evidently saps all joy from each today.
Legal and illegal drug peddling is big business in America, because we (all of us, young and old alike, and everyone in between) seek to be free from pain--be it physical, emotional or spiritual. Sometimes, aging only makes us more acutely aware of pain in all its variations.
Daily, radio and television commercials, magazine and newspaper advertisements, and billboards attempt to program us into believing a pill, an answer, or a solution can be bought for this discomfort, or for that problem.
Such messages are not always true.
Our world and its limited resources, even with all the advancements of the past century, and with all the technology available today, still does not offer a solution for man's deepest needs. Modern scientific advances have served to enhance life for great numbers of people, and there are medications available on today's market which seem to lengthen life and make it more enjoyable for many.
Certainly, I praise God for the triumphs and successes experienced daily by individuals all over this land, because of the hard work and dedication of so many in the helping professions--pastors, teachers, counselors, doctors, therapists, nurses and others--who hang in there giving aid to those who want to be helped.
But aging comes.
And death waits around the corner.
Some fear to face death and attempt to run the other way. But facing death, or how one faces death, should not be a problem. The challenge revolves around how one faces life!
Aging does call for many adjustments. Hard choices must be made on occasion, but there remains much for which we can be thankful. Sadly, when death comes suddenly, one does not always have the opportunity to make decisions which can matter a great deal in the light of eternity. No matter what our age we should strive for quality of life. Whatever amount of time we have counts; we should use it wisely, and live it well.
Ben Franklin once wrote the following words to the daughter of his deceased brother on the occasion of this brother's death:

"A man is not completely born until he is dead. Why then should we grieve that a new child is born among the immortals? We are spirits. That bodies should be lent us for a while, that they afford us pleasure and assist us in acquiring or in doing good to our fellow creatures is a kind of benevolent act of God. When they become unfit for these purposes, and afford us pain, instead of an aid become an encumbrance and answer none of the intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent that a way is provided by which we get rid of them. Death is that way."

I recall the story of Moses. In the 34th chapter of the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy we read of Moses' last days in this realm. As Moses neared the end of his life he went up onto Mount Nebo and looked out over the Promised Land. He was aware that his work on earth was nearing completion. He was ready for the transition from this world to the next. God allowed death to come and make the way for that transition.
So, it does not seem like running in fear from death, or aging, is the thing to do. It seems more appropriate to just run toward Life, recognizing that death, as we know it, is a only part of life. And life, as we know it, should be lived fully and completely every day so that no one part of it will ever be permanently tainted by regret. - www.maryjaneholt.com

MARY JANE HOLT column for 1-25-2011

It sometimes is said that beauty is only skin deep. It sometimes is true.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
There is, of course, no physical characteristic more beautiful than a smile. We also may be capable of no action more powerful than a heartfelt, joy-filled smile. So a REAL smile goes a long way to causing a person to be perceived as beautiful.
Oddly, and SO refreshingly, I no longer think of height or weight or any physical feature when I seek to define beauty.
It may be because I met a war hero last fall whose face and head and neck were horrifically burned in Iraq. He now is perceived as anything but beautiful according to most standards.
He has no ears – only tiny metal tubing installed where his ears used to be and all facial features bear little resemblance to his pre-war self.
Ah, but when he smiles his crooked smile, and then opens his mouth and heart to converse… then one stands amazed at the beauty this man exudes.
Since my interaction with him, I have chosen to look more closely for beauty in people of all shapes and sizes, ages and colors - beauty I may have missed prior to meeting him.
When I encounter these people I tell them they are beautiful It’s a beginning…
Consider this passage from I Samuel 16:

“And the LORD said unto Samuel, How long wilt thou mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? fill thine horn with oil, and go, I will send thee to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided me a king among his sons. … and thou shalt anoint unto me him whom I name unto thee. …  And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD's anointed is before him. But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. … Jesse made seven of his sons to pass before Samuel. And Samuel said unto Jesse, The LORD hath not chosen these. And Samuel said unto Jesse, Are here all thy children? And he said, There remaineth yet the youngest, and, behold, he keepeth the sheep. And Samuel said unto Jesse, Send and fetch him: for we will not sit down till he come hither. And he sent, and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and without a beautiful countenance … And the LORD said, Arise, anoint him: for this is he. Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the midst of his brethren: and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward…”

There will be more about David in a future column.
Today I say all this to tell you about the February 4-5 “More Beautiful You Conference” at Heritage Christian Church in Fayetteville, GA.
This new program will address issues so many girls and women face that have tainted their view of true beauty.  The focus of this program is to “Expose the Lie so we can Walk in the Truth”. 
The program incorporates Worship, Drama, Dance, and Testimonies to communicate that message. While targeted towards Middle School and High School age girls, it is open to mothers, college age girls and any woman who wants to come.
Registration is just $20 ($25 at the door). Learn more at heritagechristian.smartevents.com or call 770-716-5768.
One more thing - Jonny Diaz will be on hand at the conference to sing his amazing hit: “More Beautiful You” – the song that inspired the conference!
I would like to see a “More Handsome You” conference offered for young men. In my own work with women and self-image I often encounter boys AND men who ask “What about us? Don’t you think we struggle, too, with self esteem issues?”
Movies, television screens, billboards, magazines AND peer pressure from the cradle to the grave sell all of us countless lies about beauty and empowerment. ONLY an awareness of our greater purpose in the divine will of God can set us free from those lies.
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MARY JANE HOLT column – 1-18-2011

You can make a difference.
Yes, YOU.
And me.
I really do believe that with all my heart.
We matter. We do!
Sometimes, people we care about (loved ones we live with, or near, day in and day out, or maybe even strangers we encounter only one time, and we reach out to…) do not respond the way we think they should to our efforts to make a difference in their lives.
So what?
Ultimately, the ONLY attitude over which you or I have any control is our own.
Picture this if you will.
Envision a hillside. Barren at first. Nothing but dirt. Hard dirt. An occasional rock, but everything is the same color. Grey-brown everywhere all up and down that hill.
For years you drive by that miniature mountain and the drabness becomes part of your everyday life. You take it for granted. Finally, you don’t even really see it anymore.
Then, one February day, something catches your eye as you approach that hillside. It’s just a yellow speck from a distance. Probably a piece of trash, you think, but still your eye lingers and you slow down as you draw near.
To your delight, it’s a lone yellow daffodil.
Somebody planted that daffodil. They made a difference in your life and the lives of every passerby. They changed the landscape of that hillside.
The somebody who made that difference may live just across the way, and may also get to enjoy the sight of that lone flower for the few weeks in February that it will make its bold statement.
Then again, some stranger who may never pass that way again could have stopped months earlier and put that bulb in the ground with a hope that somebody would see it and be blessed.
OR… perhaps our new eye catcher on that hillside is a whole patch of daffodils! Maybe someone had a vision - then took the time - expended the energy - and planted the entire area with a beautiful array of the bright little flowers.
A vision…
Are visions supernaturally inspired? Sometimes.
Do we just dream up visions? Sometimes.
Do visions come on impulse – stimulated perhaps by someone or something we don’t even notice with our consciousness, but subconsciously we are impacted and suddenly there’s a vision? Yeah, sometimes that happens.
Scripture tells us in Proverbs 29:18 that where there is no vision the people perish.
Dear ones, the “people” are you and me.
What’s your vision? Where are you dropping seeds or planting flower bulbs? Is there an already beautiful garden you are maintaining, or a lone barren hillside where you are making a difference?
If not, why not?
Vision as used in that Proverbs reference means a divinely inspired dream or divine revelation.
You may think a lone daffodil could not be divinely inspired or used to make a difference.
Ah… you would be SO wrong.
On February 7, 1988, at noon, I looked out an upstairs window of Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and saw a daffodil blooming. Anger engulfed me as I looked upon that flower and the bright sunshine that seemed to be cheering it on moment by moment… as my dad lay dying inch by inch in a pain-filled intensive care unit down the hall.
I screamed silently at God… I wanted to know how he could allow such beauty outside that building when such painful agony ruled the inner halls. I asked Him: “WHY can’t you let it rain and be dark and drab outside? This contrast just makes all of this worse!”
I had attitude!
Hours later, as midnight approached, I watched the hearse back up to the loading ramp to pick up my dad’s dead body and at that very instant the rain began to fall.
You may think that was a coincidence.
Not!
God knew when I needed a flower. I just did not appreciate it.
He also knew when I would REALLY need that rain, and He sent it, in HIS timing, not mine.
Every February, when I see the daffodils bloom I think of that sun-drenched day and then remember how the rain fell in unison with my tears that night.
I often wonder who planted that daffodil… and helped me - in the contrasts of that day - to see God more clearly.
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MARY JANE HOLT column for 1-11-11

Even in the face of undeniable proof, we still deny truths that we do not want to believe. Truth that is inconvenient or uncomfortable. Truth that requires too much of us.
To what truth am I referring?
“What goes around comes around.”
It’s a common saying and I don’t mean to sound flip. There are, after all, dozens of other ways of expressing this truth. Perhaps you like one of these better:

- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
- Be careful what you send into the life of another for assuredly it will return to your own.
- Make your words sweet today, for tomorrow you may have to eat them.
- Judge not that you be not judged.
- By your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.
- Just as you want people to treat you, treat them the same way.

I could go on and on, but I’m sure you are beginning to grasp the truth I’m talking about here. Now, whether or not we hold on to what we grasp is a whole ‘nother story. I can’t help you there. I have troubles enough embracing the truths that come my way.
You see, when we, or those we love, are wrongly treated, judged unfairly, hurt, or put down... we want to fight back. Parents especially want to fight. When someone hurts our child, it does not matter if that child is three or 33, we want to fight back. And when someone uses us to hurt our own children, it is almost unforgivable.
But guess what, another truth comes into play when that happens.
“Forgive, if you would be forgiven”
Other ways of saying it:
- Be merciful, just as your Heavenly Father is merciful.
- Do not condemn and you will not be condemned.
- Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.
- Pardon and you will be pardoned.
How do we do it? How do we forgive and love and pray for those we’d rather see dead or humiliated or miserable?
Ask the mother who faithfully writes letters to the man in prison who has been convicted of killing her only child. Ask the father who regularly visits the grave of the young one whose life was snuffed out by the speeding teen. Ask the young man whose pregnant wife died in an automobile crushed and mangled by a drunk driver. Ask any parent whose child of any age has been damaged by another in any way.
My daddy always said anybody could do or say anything to him and he could take it in stride but let someone hurt his child and that was another story. But in the end, as he grew in Christ, and neared his final days, he learned to let go and let God...
So, how do we do it? How do we forgive? How do we let go, and let God?
Nike got it right: “Just do it.”
Humbly, with broken hearts and spirits, we bow before the One who misses nothing. In prayer we praise Him for what has been, what is, and what will be, knowing, with what faith we are able to hold on to, that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purposes.
And we remember with humility the promise, “‘Vengeance is mine. I will repay,’ saith the Lord.”
And we tremble because we know He keeps that promise.
How do we know? Because if we live long enough we see it play out time and time again, more smoothly than the most perfect performance ever to hit Broadway.
The simple truth is God never misses a thing. Truly, what goes around comes around. It’s one of the laws of the universe - one He set in place a long time ago. I don’t think He even has to lift a finger  … we do it all to ourselves.
Practically every major religion teaches the truths of which I write.
If your faith has not taught you these truths, then look back over your own life and consider  lessons (truths) your own experiences teach… what you have learned AND what you have not learned, yet.

MARY JANE HOLT for 1-4-2011

Pessimist - somebody who always expects the worst to happen.

Optimist - somebody who tends to feel hopeful and positive about future outcomes.

Realist - somebody who only considers things as they are or appear to be, and avoids ideals and abstractions.

Idealist - a perfectionist who rejects practical considerations or one who aspires to or abides by high standards or principles.

Looking up those definitions was not quite the way I expected to start my new year, BUT my sister just informed me that I was a pessimist!
I denied it.
I’m not sure what I am now… I only know I am no longer what I was prior to 2010.
A few weeks back when I was having trouble swallowing and was frequently choking and losing my voice, I put music on my phone and on one of my websites, and agreed to all requests to speak, and promised to read my novel aloud to a friend… ‘cause no way was I gonna give up my voice without making a stand!
AND I prayed…
Diagnostic studies resulted in consultations with medical specialists and surgery was scheduled for January 4 with an amazing cardio-thoracic surgeon.
However, I postponed it, in part, because I did not want to be in the hospital during flu season, AND because it appears that I am being healed without this potentially dangerous surgery on my neck and throat – dangerous because it’s my neck and throat AND because I am allergic to sutures.
I share this with you because it is one way of illustrating how I think as a realistic, pessimistic, idealistic optimist.
During my first 37-38 years I was an optimistic idealist, but decades of optimistic idealism eventually was shattered in 1986-88.
After that time period, I started to evolve into a true blend of optimism, pessimism, idealism and realism. I don’t necessarily like the change, but I vividly recall the loss of my rose-colored glasses. 
Nothing has ever looked the same since 1988. An occupation change coupled with my dad’s death that year redefined life as I knew it.
Then a series of events in 2010 again redefined life as I know it. 
So, today, along with Tracy Lawrence, this is how I see things:

“…You can hope for the best and plan for the worst,
If lightning doesn't strike you first.
Who knows what's gonna happen in the end.
I just work like it's all up to me,
And pray like it's all up to him
…
And at the end of the day
when I've done all I can,
I drop to me knees
and leave it all in his hands.”

The best part of what I am trying to tell you this week is tied to those last four lines. Finally I am learning at the end of the day to leave it in God’s hands.
As the oldest of seven and a born caretaker I will probably always feel like many things are up to me, but I loved it when my son told me earlier this year to just “Pray with good intentions and what happens after that is none of your business.”
He said he immediately thought of me when he heard that quote and had to quickly pass it on.
I appreciated it; in fact, I posted it on my bedroom wall so it’s the last thing I see before I go to bed at night.
I share all this personal stuff in order to hopefully earn the privilege of asking you what you are? Who are you? What do you want to be? Who do you want to be? How do you think? How do you feel about America’s future?
What are your goals for 2011? Pastor Benny Tate said Sunday that everybody needs a BHAG: a “Big Hairy Audacious Goal” for the new year.
Benny quoted Benjamin Mays: “The tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to reach.”
Do you want to join me and Tracy Lawrence as we set our goals, hope for the best, plan for the worst, work like it’s all up to us and pray like it’s all up to God?
I’d love to hear about YOUR goals: MJ Holt, PO Box 246, Gay, GA 30218 or maryjaneholt@aol.com 

MARY JANE HOLT column for 12-28-10

Have you ever been warned against praying for something?
For instance, such a warning may have come regarding praying for patience because it often seems like God sends tons of “issues” to help grow our patience when we ask Him for more of it.
About 18 months ago, I began to study scriptures pertaining to humbling one’s self. I knew I needed to be more humble and less rebellious.
I was, of course, hesitant to pray for humility, since I already knew better than to pray for patience! :-)
Ah, but God knows the desires of our hearts, so He was already on it. In fact, I am certain it was He who put the desire in my heart to change things up a bit.
He’s pretty good at that!
You would think once we begin to grasp who God is and who we are… that humility would come easily. Oh, well, not so much for some of us.
“Making It Happen” TV host Victoria Lee says, “To humble yourself means: Putting God at the center of your life; Being Teachable, Forgiving and Trusting; Being grateful for all that He has given you.”
She adds, “It's what we do before the throne of God.”
Humbling ourselves is what we do before God, when we realize who we are… and who God is.
As I think back on my decades of rebellion, I am appalled.
It is one thing to feel free to discuss things with God. He welcomes that. And somehow, He has let me get away with questioning countless commands.
When I have questioned His orders, God often has been gracious enough to explain them to me, or at the very least confirm them.
I have been extraordinarily blessed to be able to live a life of communication with God. I know His voice. And for the most part, I obey His voice.
I say “for the most part” because this is one area of rebellion. Sometimes, I have not obeyed what I know were His very clear instructions.
Obedience comes easier now. Finally.
Maybe you are like me, or it could be that you rebel in other areas. Do you have trouble forgiving? Perhaps anger rules you. Do you resent your co-workers or even your vocation? Does
rebellion mark your relationships or some other specific area of growth or service?
In chapter 12 of Numbers, one example of rebellion is explored when Aaron and Miriam became critical of their brother Moses. A sobering story!
Who are we to question who God chooses, what He chooses for them, OR what he chooses them for?
If you tend to be critical or like to gossip, please beware of doing it in the name of God!
God knows our motives and His… He will not be mocked and cannot be fooled.
Consider the last setting in which you listened to folks ask for prayer either for themselves, or for others. As you listened, were you focused on praying for the one in need or knowing more about their issue/s?
God knows the issues, and occasionally there may be a “need to know” on your part, like when God chooses to give you an opportunity to help meet the need of the hour, but sometimes there is much that you do not need to know. 
Certainly, we should be specific with prayer requests and feel free to talk at length about every detail with God. BUT we should beware of what we say to, or hear from, others, and guard against turning prayer meetings into glorified gossip sessions.
Jesus, Moses, Esther, Ruth, David, Abraham – oh, and Rahab… they all knew who they were and who God is. 
In her book, “A Lineage of Grace”, Francine Rivers explores the life of Rehab, the prostitute. I challenge you to read it before you ever again are tempted to judge or criticize another.
Rivers also aptly addresses the subject of criticizing others in “Leota’s Garden.”
Judging others, and thereby second-guessing God, is one more example of my rebellion.
As 2010 comes to a close, I encourage you to consider the truth of James 4:10: “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” I trust that 2011 will give me and you continued opportunities to grow in His grace and truth.

MARY JANE HOLT column for 12/14/10

A few months back, a retired professor and amazing minister of the Gospel, consulted with me about how to write his memoirs - his life story.
We all have one, you know: a life story. We are writing it with every breath, word, step...
After our meeting, I thought of the unforgettable lines from that Gladys Knight and The Pips hit: “If anyone should ever write my life story for whatever reason there might be, you’ll be there between each line of pain and glory…”
Gladys goes on to say in reference to such a person, “You Are The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me.”
I challenge you to recall those individuals from your life who would be there between each line… of all things wonderful and/or all things horrific in your life.
I am not sure any of us really have the courage or spiritual insight to appropriately define or describe those individuals who really are “the best thing…” at various stages of our lives.
We tend to think of people who make us feel good as falling under that description, don’t we?
But ask yourself: “WHO has most influenced me?”
Period.
Who? Who has encouraged you? Discouraged you? Taught you to love? Hate? Forgive? Be bitter? Be better? Held you back? Forced you to grow?
To whom have you given such power? It is an important question because those people do indeed define you - for better or worse.
Consider the influence you yourself exert on others.
What influence beyond all present moment interactions will remain when you pass from this realm?
Do you even know how to live in the present moment? Or are you stuck back when life was wonderful or horrific? It happens… we all get stuck sometimes. And when we do, it often is a choice, folks.
In response to that, most of you will say, “But…” and then you will tell me how good you had it, or how bad you had it back when, and how “it” still influences you today – controls you, really.
“I can’t let go,” “I cannot forget,” “I cannot forgive,” will follow your “but.”
I repeat: it’s a choice.
Sadly and wastefully, we define ourselves by too many of yesterday’s experiences. We are lazy. It is easy to get stuck. It is hard to dig out of a rut and to come out from behind walls - very hard, but SO WORTH IT.
When you are struggling with forward motion, consider the squirrel that would refuse to jump from limb to limb or tree to tree. How quickly he would give out of food! How boring the view would become! How limited his experiences would be!
Ah, but observe the squirrel who would leap from oak to pine to maple and sometimes fall… yet jump up and scamper forward to his intended or perhaps another destination – always moving, jumping, leaping, learning, growing, experiencing a great variety of influences.
I most enjoy seeing a squirrel hit the ground running across a wide open stretch. How I admire such courage! It is often his best way to move from orchard to orchard, yard to yard, field to field, but oh, my, what vulnerability such forward motion brings with it!
Vulnerability, progress and, oh yes… freedom… often walk, run (or scamper about) hand in hand!
I also love to watch squirrels scurry ’round the yard, digging up food treasures during the winter. There again, vulnerability exists. I once went out and intervened when a poor squirrel, digging with all his might and refusing to move on, was being harassed by a flock of crows. Enough was enough!
I wonder if God ever feels like enough is enough when He sees us scrounging for spiritual food in areas we refuse to leave because taking off full speed ahead and moving on would require a decision we do not want to make, as well as much exertion and exposure. It’s hard to know when to stay and when to go, isn’t it?
Ruts and walls abound, as do wide open spaces… and choices.
Check out the squirrels this week. Let them give you a few pointers as you write your story. You are writing one, you know - a life story - whether you ever record it on paper or not. – www.maryjaneholt.com

MARY JANE HOLT column for 12/7/2010

Her mesmerizingly lyrical words, like the woman, are SO real. River Jordan, accomplished Nashville radio personality and author of “Saints in Limbo”, grew up in lower Alabama amongst a bunch of women who loved Jesus and could see the future. 
From the moment she told me that, I hung on to every word she draped out before me. Yep – she had me from “women who loved Jesus and could see the future…”
She was told, as a teenager, that she also had the gift to see the future, but said, “I never sought to develop it though; I have always tried to stay focused on living the moment.”
Then she added, “I did come into the world with an awareness though - a way of believing that I would later learn was not the way for everybody…”
“Regarding that awareness, clearly, not everyone born with their spiritual eyes wide open keeps them open and remains willing to see what others cannot see,” I responded.
“No,” she answered,” but, certain people are born that way and they become artists, musicians and writers so others can see through their eyes…”
We chatted freely. It felt good!
“What is it,” I finally asked, “that makes us seek to put God in a box? Why do we think we can define Him, know His mind and heart, and solve the mysteries of the universe when He has clearly told us that His ways are high above us… beyond us… incomprehensible to us?”
“Fear” she answered without a second’s hesitation.
I easily concurred on that one! 
For some reason, I thought of Genesis 11:1-9 as I listened to River. Too many are still trying to figure God out today – the wrong way.
River strives not only to fully experience the amazing single moments of her life, but she truly embraces many mysteries God so lovingly and intriguingly lays before her.
As we chatted on about the countless unknowns of life, secrets of God perhaps…, we touched on the importance of symbolism, at which point she suggested, “If you like my books, you might also like Rick Joyner’s book, The Final Quest, in which he says the cloak of humility is the greatest thing you can wear.”
I have read Joyner’s books, and while I do not recommend them, I did appreciate River’s reference to the importance of humility.
St. Peter warned that we should clothe ourselves with humility because God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble. No humility is more powerful than that which comes with understanding what it means to wear the blood of Christ as a protective cloak.
Nobody talks much about the blood anymore… Today’s Christians are more into politics and prophecies, signs and miracles.
I am always awed when I read the Luke passage where Jesus cautioned 70 of his followers not to be so excited that the demons were subject to them, but to keep their focus on the fact that their names are written in the Book of Life. 
I wonder if we regularly (daily/hourly) walked with God in the gardens of our lives… if we would eventually grasp the meaning of relationship.
My having also been born into a world of women who loved Jesus and could see the future has led to a most interesting life. That bible we also loved, right along with loving Jesus, condemns the fortune teller and medium, yet respects the seer... there is a difference.
Sometimes, the line is fine and hard to see, but it is there.
Since Jesus came, and went, and sent back The Holy Spirit, supernatural insights are available to all who are willing to commit to living the moment day in and day out, in the Spirit, and give up any perceived control of the past or future.
I asked River if she works from an outline when writing fiction. “Never,” she said, “the characters just come to me and I give them a voice.” I like that!
Intrigue me with the mysteries of God and life any day! I excitedly await publication of River Jordan’s first non-fiction, “Praying for Strangers…” in April, 2011, and I so look forward to reading her other novels, “The Gin Girl”, “The Messenger of Magnolia Street”, and “The Miracle of Mercy Land”. Check her out at www.riverjordan.us

MARY JANE HOLT column for week of 11/30/10

I have always been drawn to anybody who appeared to be lonely or hurting, partly because of the way God made me, and also because of the example my parents set.
Mother and Daddy always shared everything with everybody. They never met a stranger, especially my dad, and I still don’t meet a stranger to this day.
My parents’ generosity with the little they had showed me firsthand how easily so little could become so much. They proved that the more you give the more you get. Today, I am wealthy in spirit beyond measure and I’m not sure any other kind of wealth measurement matters! 
Other factors also influenced such wealth.
When I was eight years old we moved from Bainbridge to Albany, GA. There we rented a tiny house next door to East Albany Elementary where I wrote my first newspaper column – the winning essay in a Christmas story competition that my teacher submitted for publication in the local paper!
That little house was within walking distance of East Albany Church of God where my mama took her kids every Sunday in those early years before Daddy found Jesus.
At that tiny cinderblock church, Sister Douglas, the pastor, scared the living daylights out of me with a sermon about the horrors of hell. She said the only way to avoid hell was to ask Jesus into my heart.
At eight years old, the only way I knew to do that was to sing a little song I’d just learned at that same church: “Into my heart Lord Jesus, into my heart to day, come into my heart lord Jesus, into my heart to stay.” I sung it frantically!
Later, after Daddy found Jesus, or He found Daddy, we went to a Baptist church way out in the middle of nowhere (south of Albany). There, during the Wednesday night service of a weeklong revival the summer I turned 16, I heard a visiting evangelist preach a sermon entitled “God is Love.”  
That sermon made me want to let God love others through me.
I got baptized in a nearby creek the following Sunday by a preacher who was a head shorter than me. Since I couldn’t swim, I will admit to being a tad scared again then, but I survived to tell this tale!
It was that same year that I discovered the letter St. Paul wrote to the first century church at Corinth, specifically four verses from First Corinthians 9 that would shape my life!
“For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. … … … To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.”
When I first got excited about those verses may have been when my mom and dad first got excited about praying for me. If you are a parent, you can imagine how earnestly they prayed as they watched me seek to let those verses define my life!
I knew as soon as I discovered those words that they would inspire, motivate me and guide me as I began to look for ways to “save some.”
I like that Kevin Costner movie, “The Guardian,” but sadly, like Costner’s character, I foolishly have kept count of what I perceived as losses over the years, rather than saves.
I know now that it is Jesus, not me, who saves. I also know that my perception is extraordinarily limited in scope.
That “God, please love others through me” prayer has led to exhilarating adventures and heartbreaking challenges.
Sometimes we have to become a real mess before we can even become aware that we need a makeover. Interestingly, I suspect God has used me to help make more than one mess… Oh, yeah! 
Oh – and there’s never been a mess that God, with His eternal perspective, cannot clean up! Ah, yes, perception and perspective are real important words in relationship building!
My ever-evolving relationship with Jesus, who I called Savior at age 8 and 16, Friend at 30 and now, “LORD...” assures me that life is all about relationship building – not about keeping count of “saves” OR “losses.”
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MARY JANE HOLT column for November 23, 2010
 

WHAT IF… What if, instead of handpicking the people we are gonna love and devote our energies toward encouraging, our resources toward serving, and our lives toward loving, just what if we resolved to love whoever God puts in our path?

What set me to thinking along this line is yet another chance encounter recently at WalMart. Sometimes, I think Sam Walton truly must have walked with God… That’s just how profound some of my encounters have been on his legacy turf.

This most recent exchange was with someone who serves Americans in a capacity that requires much patience and is riddled with potential danger.

As I stood in line behind him I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to encourage Him.

Of course, I’m thinking ONCE MORE, “Ya gotta be kidding, Lord.” This guy is so “together” – I mean, come on now – really - are we, You and I, looking at the same man here? He’s polished and focused and buying a battery for goodness sake! He’s totally got it going on!

BUT, finally, I asked, “What do you do?” And just like that our conversation was off and running.

At one point, I heard myself telling him how important it is to “look back regularly at where God has brought us from and where we could have been if it were not for His grace.”

Easy to share that one since it is my November motto.

As the brief conversation unfolded, the opportunity to share those words presented itself with ease. As we parted, I asked for his first name.

I then went home and wrote it down in the front of my new bible. Many names of folks I pray for decorate the once blank pages of my old bibles that now fall apart when I pick them up. This guy that God so prominently put in front of me is the first one whose name has made it into this new one.

…It really is just that easy to love whoever God puts in your path!

While the song in its entirety may not be appropriate to quote in this particular column, I simply adore that amazing line from the Luther Van Dross hit (his is MY favorite version!): “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

Spiritually, it is hard to hear such a message. Though my WalMart guy was a pleasure, the truth is that it’s simply not always easy or convenient or exciting to reach out to, befriend or love the one or ones God places before us.

Sadly… sometimes it is death that separates us from the one we want to love. Many times I have told dying parents - who were grieving over leaving their children behind - that those children were not theirs, and that God loved their kids more than they ever could. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it is a good pill to take in such a case.

When you are the kid or mate or friend left behind after a loved one has gone back to God ahead of you, why not honor their legacy by loving whoever God puts in your path? Can you imagine the number of grins that would spread across heaven if we all did that!

Yes, “love” – I’m not talking “like.” There are people I don’t like. Sorry. Well, kinda sorry.

It’s a fact! I just don’t like some folks; though I’m working on that, too! And God’s still working on me, so who knows what the future holds! Miracles happen.

I CAN love you, however, with the love of God that flows though me in spite of me. It’s amazing - The Love of God!

God is the ultimate enabler (see John 14:12!). He really can make it possible for us to love just about anybody, anywhere, anytime… if we are open and have not already told Him who we are gonna love and who we are not – even then, He can be quite persuasive!

I think Jesus was big on loving everybody - a good topic to consider as the Christmas Season approaches!

FYI, this week’s reasoning is tied to the little word “whosoever…” in John 3:16. And there’s Luke 10:25-37; Matthew 12:46-50; and I Corinthians 9:19-22.

Oh, yeah, what if…

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 MARY JANE HOLT column for November 16, 2010

 When I met her, a history of deep sadness echoed through her eyes and overwhelmed me. I felt moved to make time to talk with her and to listen to her. Instead, I chose to avoid her. I was convinced that I could not bear to hear her story. 
I was elated to finally leave the corporate setting we had shared for days and head home - thankful to have escaped.
A week later, as I became more and more convicted about avoiding her, I asked a friend to pray as I prepared to telephone the woman with the sad eyes, and have the dreaded conversation.
I made the call on a Wednesday night. When she answered, I said, “Please tell me about the pain history I saw in your soul when I looked into your eyes.”
She said, “I can’t believe you are asking me that. I wanted to talk to you the day I met you.”
Oh, boy! I thought…
Oh, God…, I prayed.
For three hours and 22 minutes I listened. At first, I wanted to cry, but at some point during our second hour, a strange, soft ripple of laughter bubbled up from some distant corner of my heart.
I had not heard myself laugh since last April.
I apologized for the ripples. “I am just out of tears,” is all I could say.
She said, “Please don’t apologize, I love the sound of your laughter. It’s wonderful. I know you are listening with your heart, and I know my story is hard to hear, but it has a very happy ending!”
…On Nov. 14, my husband and I visited Rock Springs Church, east of Milner, GA for morning worship. An amazing soloist sung “Better than a Hallelujah.”
I wept again.
I did not weep alone.
In 1990, 24 year old Benny Tate drove down, from middle TN to Rock Springs, to preach a revival for the thirty members that comprised the congregation at the time.
He was asked to come on board as the interim pastor after that revival. Today, as senior pastor of a church of 5000 members in the middle of nowhere (literally!), he is still preaching messages that spark revival in the souls of those who listen.
Listening is hard.
I cannot repeat details my new phone friend shared except to tell you that deep spiritual beauty was born of her brokenness. However, I will share with you a few things Dr. Tate said, just in case you may be hurting like my phone friend once hurt.
Dr. Tate’s subject was Jacob. His scripture came from Genesis 32.
He suggested that sometimes God cannot bless a man greatly until He allows him to be hurt deeply. He pointed out that soil must be broken before it can produce a crop. Clouds must burst before they can produce rain. Grapes must be crushed before they can produce juice…
He said: 

“Two people can’t be right with God, and wrong with each other.” 

“When one door closes another opens, but sometimes it is HELL in the hallway.” 

“Real leaders don’t walk with a strut; they walk with a limp...” 

Mine were just droplets among the myriad tears that fell in the packed sanctuary as he spoke. 

All across America, people are hurting. They… we are being broken.

As he closed his sermon, Dr. Tate reminded us that, following the events of Genesis 32, God changed Jacob’s name from Jacob, meaning “deceiver”, to Israel, meaning “prince of God.” 

That same God is still re-naming his children today. The hallways of transition often are hell. But like a friend told me this week, “When satan reminds you of your past, just remind him of his future…”

Ever the curious one, I queried the crowd, anxious to know the secret to the kind of growth Rock Springs Congregational Methodist Church has experienced.

When I asked where all the people came from, I was told McDonough, Fayetteville, Griffin, Jackson, Barnesville, Macon, Gay and beyond. 

“Why do so many people drive so far?” I asked. 

“We are hungry and Pastor Benny feeds us,” they said. 

In light of Matthew 24:45-51, it's easy to see why the church is so blessed. 

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MARY JANE HOLT column for November 9, 2010
 

A dear friend presently is going through a lot of pain tied to the betrayal of one she thought was her friend. My husband and I were discussing this, and I said, “She should not have trusted him so much.”  

That launched us into a rather lengthy discussion of trust and finally he looked at me and said, “Who do YOU trust?’  

I said, “I trust you and …” and then I went blank. 

Trust is hard for me. I am, now that I have had time to think about it, going to explain to you and to him why I could not name anybody else at the time. 

First, my husband knows I do not trust him to supply my every need. Never have. Never will. Shucks, I don’t always even trust him to tell me the whole truth. Sometimes he tries to decide what I need to know and what I don’t! Oh, and I’m big on truth, in case you didn’t know! 

However, I do “trust” him… because I have lived/abided with him for four decades. No matter how much we may tune each other out from time to time (oh yeah – it happens!), mere proximity teaches us much about each other. 

Our years together have afforded me the opportunity to observe what he is capable of. I know what I can expect of him and he knows what he can expect of me. So we have developed a deep level of trust based on that premise.

There is nobody else in my life that I get to observe that closely day in and day out. I share parts of our “trust” conversation with you for two reasons: 

Read this sprinkling of trust passages from Psalms and you may understand one reason: 

“But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.” – Psalm 5:11 

“And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.” – Psalm 9:10 

“The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower…. As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.” – Psalm 18:2 

I just love that word “buckler, for many reasons, but especially in light of the way we use it in reference to feeling like our knees are about to buckle beneath us when we get shockingly blindsided with betrayal and hurt!

I’m sorry my friend is hurting, but I’m glad there are no surprises with God. His faithfulness is real! I hope she knows that! 

And now, reason number two. Although God tells us in His Word that we CAN trust him, we cannot in and of ourselves, in this human form we inhabit, trust Him UNLESS we spend time with Him. Day in and day out we must walk with Him and talk with Him and observe how He works in our lives and in the lives of those around us. We must abide with Him in order to be able to CHOOSE TO trust Him. 

The abiding is so worth it, folks, ‘cause unlike my precious hubby, God is unlimited when it comes to meeting my needs… AND my desires… when they line up with His!

Read these words of Jesus and be blessed: “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.” – John 15 

I have been abiding with my hubby long enough to know what to ask of him and to understand what he is and is not capable of. I’m still learning about abiding in Jesus, and it is an amazing, joyous, delightful adventure and learning experience!

God has proven His faithfulness over and over to me. He longs to have the same kind of relationship with you. Just ask Him!

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MARY JANE HOLT column for November 2, 2010

For decades, God has “spoken” to me in the shower! I recently learned that it happens to somebody else I know, too.

He’s another scattered, charismatic right-brained creative type! Shucks, it might also happen to you, and you may be brilliantly left-brained, totally focused and organized for all I know.

Anyway, there are at least two of us who God speaks to in the shower, AND in heavy traffic! Maybe it’s the only time we consistently grow still and quiet enough to listen!

Trouble is, in neither place can I easily take notes, and I learned a long time ago that it’s wise to take notes when the Holy Spirit dictates.

In fact, I have had to pull over and stop by the side of the road many times to take such dictation. I also keep a notepad by my bed so, when I have certain special dreams, I can record them immediately when I wake up.

Oddly, however, while I easily forget regular dreams within minutes upon awakening, I remember the special dreams quite well. Still, I sometimes like to record them along with the date they occurred.

I now am keeping a writing pad in the bathroom, and yeah, I have been known (thankfully, not seen!) to hop out in the middle of a shower and jot down notes as the thoughts flowed forth faster than the water!

The thoughts may be specific instructions, a bible verse, a scene, a name or group of names. It varies. I follow the instructions now far more often than in my youth. Wish I could say I consistently and efficiently (as in immediately) obey without wanting to discuss it first with God, but I can’t.

Then, when I do not question, I often jump right in head first without thinking, when I probably should think first because it may be God who wants to discuss things in detail with me before we act according to His timing, not mine!

Sometimes I blow it so badly that everybody who might be tempted to praise me KNOWs that it’s God, not me, that pulls off so much amazing stuff!

Ah, but it’s good to be part of it all anyway – even when I’m covered in scuffs and abrasions and bruises from falling so often!

Ultimately, I’m just happy to be part of God’s plan anyway He can fit me in!

In case you are wondering how to know if it is God’s voice, remember:

 “…And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.” - I Kings 19: 11-12

Yep, it’s a still small voice every time, kinda like when you are in a lively meeting, and everybody is talking at once, and loudly pushing their point of view, and suddenly somebody lowers their voice, and the group takes notice… and grows quiet, in order to hear the lowered voice.

Try it – it works WAY BETTER than raising your voice! Probably why God does it that way, huh?

With all the outward pressures and voices that come at us from so many worldly sources and forces, consider something a precious friend once told me: “When you are feeling pressured from without (all around you), beware; however, when you are feeling pressured from within yourself, BE STILL, listen and obey.”

Getting still, listening, and obeying saved my life earlier this year. “Be still” is a big deal! (Psalm 46:10)

So, whether that still small, loving voice speaks in the shower, in traffic, in dreams… wherever… we are wise when we listen and obey, even if everyone around us thinks we are nuts. 

We would be wise to also remember that the “it” I mentioned last week is all about what God is doing, not what we with our limited insight think we are doing!

The most recent message I received in the shower was: “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” (Proverbs 29:18a). For follow-up, see II Peter 3:9.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for October 26, 2010
 

Occasionally, I feel overwhelmed by not only the details, but by the sheer numbers of horrific challenges that people tell me they are facing.

Sometimes, following such conversation - that is often preceded or followed by a prayer request - I want to scream, “Enough already!”

 Often lately, I find I am at a loss for words to say or pray, and I resort to just “Jesus.” Over and over, some days and nights I will prayerfully say that name thousands of times. Just that name.

Some days, I can’t pray at all and I simply survive one choice at a time.

A while back, I wrote a poem called “What IS Love?” and in that poem I pointed out the dangers of telling someone to look above when that someone needs someone in the here and now to show them love.

Many of us far too quickly point people back to God after He has pointed them toward us.

Are we that lazy? Busy? Cowardly? Shy? Too efficiently programmed? Too ignorant regarding how to listen to or what to say to a wounded, lonely or broken one?

Or do we give and give and give and then finally decide in and of ourselves that it’s enough? That we just can’t or won’t give anymore?

One choice at a time, we reach up and reach out, or give up and give in. More accurately, perhaps, we obey or disobey the Holy Spirit…

It is what it is!

I can’t begin to guess how many times I think I’ve gotten “it’ wrong over the years. Probably can’t count that high. I know only one thing for sure: God’s in “it” all!

God is in my success and my failure. He is front and center when my make-up’s perfect and when I have egg all over my face. He rules when I am walking gracefully in my highest heels (yeah, right…) and when I am picking myself up from an embarrassing fall (more right!). He is the God of my laughter and my tears, my recognized victories and perceived defeats.

He’s in all of it or none of it! I believe it’s ALL of “it”.

I grow tired and weary, and sometimes I have to rest alone with God for a spell…but then I put myself back out there! To refuse to risk vulnerability is to choose to risk apathy. 

Sometimes, we long for a day when it will all end, when the final score will be tallied, when good will win over evil, when victory and defeat will be more clearly defined.

Indeed, we all grow tired, become weary and want to rest. We long for an end to our struggles.

But what did Jesus say about that end we occasionally wish for – that final day? You do know it will be a day of judgment, right?

According to Matthew, Jesus said:

“Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me…”
It is what it is! We can choose apathy or we can choose with St. Paul to “not grow weary in well doing.” One choice at a time, we can listen to, love and embrace whoever God puts in our path, or not...

And when we grow overwhelmed and do not know how to pray as has been the case with me this year more times than any other year of my life, trust me… the name of Jesus is enough.

I have amazing friends who speak in tongues, have dedicated prayer times, and who keep prayer journals.

Me? I fly by the wings of whatever angel carries me on any given day as God allows me the privilege of listening to his chosen heartache of the hour, and... all I do some hours is just speak the name of Jesus aloud. See why I know that’s enough in Philippians 2:9-10. 

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MARY JANE HOLT column for October 19, 2010
 

When I asked how long she had been singing, she said “All my life!”

Her brother is 11 years older and when she was a tiny baby she slept in a crib in his room until he begged his mom to move her out because she hummed all the time, even in her sleep!

I believe it. Simply put, there are songs in her heart that must come out.

Laura Dodd is only 25 years old, but she sounds like an angel who has been singing since eternity began. Joy escapes from every pore when you are in her presence. 

Until you ask about her disease. Then a shadow falls across her face for a brief second.

When I asked, she said, “I will talk to you about my singing, but not about my disease.”

I said, “I want to talk about the disease.”

“Why?” she asked.

I took a few minutes to explain to her how clear it was to me that she is an exemplary over-comer and how I wanted to share her story to encourage others who struggle with chronic illness if she would let me.

She agreed.

At 12 years old, following what should have been “routine surgery” to correct flat feet, she found she could not walk well. Suddenly, she could not run at all and her reflexes were strikingly diminished.

At age 13, at Birmingham Children’s Hospital, nerve biopsies were done which led to a diagnosis of Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Peripheral Neuropathy (CIPD). There, she was told that she would soon be in a wheelchair and would not have long life expectancy.

Ah, but, and you are gonna love this “BUT” – her heart wanted to sing! She had goals… and dying was not at the top of her list! Her heart would learn to overrule her body!

By age 17 she was using a cane. At age 18 her body required a walker, but she kept singing in plays in high school, then with a band in college.

Just after graduation a major recording studio discovered her, and after meeting with her, a company spokesperson said, “We love you, but we don’t know what to do with your illness.”

As is too often the case, for an insane instant, Laura got defined by her disease label! What a loss for that recording company!

Laura Dodd’s angels began to push open other doors. A friend in Nashville helped her learn to write music. First came “Where Eagles Fear and Angels Long To Go.” It was featured in the movie “The Goal,” the story of a quadriplegic and how he overcame adversity through wheelchair rugby and has become an inspiring story for many.

Another friend helped her as she struggled through a really hard time physically during which she recorded “Songbird.”

Today, she lives independently in Brentwood, TN. There she does an hour of strength training daily, an hour of cardio and one hour of vocal training with Buzzy Orange who has worked with Faith Hill and Carrie Underwood in years past. She sees a chiropractor weekly and eats healthy ALL the time.

She truly is an over-comer! She has shared the stage with some of the hottest names in mainstream country and wants a career in that industry. She wants to promote the universal message: “No matter what obstacles you face in life, you can still achieve your dreams and goals!”

On October 14, to a standing ovation, on her “own two feet” she walked onto the Inspirational Country Music ICM Awards Stage in Hendersonville, TN, to receive the “New Artist” award!

I heard her sing “…I’m gonna ‘Spread My Wings’ and fly - singing hallelujah - as I stand here on my own two feet justa singing my song tonight…” You can hear her sing it at www.lauradodd.com/music.htm

The grandest treat of all comes when you find yourself in her glowing presence and hear Laura talk about all God means to her! She says, “God is everything to me! He is Love! I have learned that I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to talk to God, and be sincere, and sing my songs!”

As Tommy Brandt puts it in his latest release: “Nuff Said!”

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MARY JANE HOLT column for October 12, 2010

It was Sunday, 10/10/10… what a date! I was on my way to the Nashville, TN area since I had been invited back yet again for Inspirational Country Music (ICM) week! My sister, who had planned to come up and spend some time with her daughter who lives near me, ditched her daughter and chose time with me!

I am blessed, for one’s joy is always doubled when it is shared!

While en route, I telephoned ICM Entertainer of the Year, Tommy Brandt, to ask when he would be doing his showcase. He said Tuesday night, and I told him I was coming up early because Greg McDougal had told me on Saturday (the day before!) that The McDougal Kids would be doing their showcase on Sunday night.

Showcase means you are filmed while performing, then you are given the opportunity to buy the video and use it for promotional purposes, including posting on YouTube. Showcases can be great marketing opportunities.

SO, at 2 p.m., on Sunday, when I called to check Tommy’s schedule, he said, “Since you are already on your way to Nashville, you can come to my daughter’s wedding at 5 p.m., in Gallatin! We have been working frantically to pull this off because the kids decided three weeks ago they wanted to get married on 10/10/10.”

A three hour advance invitation to nuptials! Whew! But Tommy has called me Mama Jane for several years now, so I had to honor this last minute invite to the wedding of a “granddaughter” I had been anxious to meet for quite some time.

We made it with 30 minutes to spare! Amanda married Chip Wilmore who is up for New Inspirational Country Music Artist of the Year at Thursday night’s ceremonies. Tommy, an ordained minister, officiated.

After the wedding, an unforgettable evening unfolded at Trinity Music City, in Hendersonville, where the showcases are held annually, Sunday through Wednesday prior to the awards show.

I was SO blessed to be in the presence of many of the most spectacular voices in this genre throughout Sunday evening. Time and space does not permit me to talk about all of them today, though all are worthy; but I will mention three.

First, The McDougal Kids did NOT disappoint. They not only got a standing ovation, but it began as soon as Jeffrey, Sean, Katie and Grace walked out on the stage! Folks stood in awe throughout both their songs. Check out their story at: www.ahouseformykids.com.

Then there was Al Mac Will. Strong emotion swept over me during her time on stage. A truly gifted African American just can’t be touched by any other race when it comes to rhythm and projection and many other aspects of music delivery! It’s a fact. Learn about her at www.urbancountrygospel.com.

If Al’s worshipful performance was not enough to brilliantly drive home my above claim, the last group of the night took to the stage for a thirty minute showcase and cinched it! I don’t think anybody was prepared for The Voices of Glory! Google them!

The three siblings were fifth place winners on America’s Got Talent 2009. Many believe they should have won, but they were Christian. In case you haven’t heard, mainstream American television does not easily embrace Christianity anymore.

Oh, well, a 90 percent white audience in the auditorium at Trinity Music City embraced The Voices of Glory on Sunday night, 10/10/10. Big time!

As far as mainstream media goes, Jesus said in reference to another time when folks were trying to hush up those who would praise Him, “I tell you, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.”

The rocks upon which Christ has built His church ARE crying out today. White folks are praising Him, Latinos are, too! Asians are praising, as well! African Americans are singing His praises and on 10/10/10, we all forgot what color we were, how old we are, our economic and political status, what state or country we come from and we just praised the name of Jesus! It was a good day… Congratulations, Amanda and Chip!

To experience a broad sprinkling of the so very honest and REAL sounds that make Inspirational Country music the fastest growing genre in the world, check out: www.inspirationalcountryradio.com. Enjoy!

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MARY JANE HOLT column for October 5, 2010

Sometimes you know when you are in the presence of greatness. Sometimes you don’t. Last week, I knew - several times.

I dropped by the Jekyll Island Club Hotel to speak to Raymond Harris, an extraordinarily gifted musician. I’d met Ray earlier this year when I was on the island for a few days. I had learned that, as a young boy, during World War II, Ray’s dad would drive him all over Southeast Georgia to play for very special square dance events. 

Ray said all the machinery was tied up for war purposes back then, so folks would gather from far and wide to shell peanuts at long tables for a couple of hours; then square dancing became the reward for those who pitched in to help the farmers.

Ray has turned down invitations from all over America which would have provided much expanded recognition. Instead, he has played for his community, and now sings softly and picks his dobro on the porch at the grand old hotel, where visitors from all over the world can hear him. He is content to humbly perform in that serene setting as the long moss strands in the stately old oaks sway to his music.

Two days later, at a book convention in Daytona, I had the opportunity to meet Detective Sgt. Joe Matthews. Joe solved the Adam Walsh Case. He has served as chief investigator for America’s Most Wanted (the program founded by John Walsh in memory of his son.)

Les Standiford, with Joe, has written the new book, “Bringing Adam Home, The Abduction that Changed America,” coming March, 2011, from Harper Collins. I felt a strange and amazing connection to Joe when I sat in on his panel at the conference, but that’s another story.

What matters for today’s purposes is how strongly I sensed the presence of God around this guy. When I asked what role, if any, his faith had played in his illustrious career, he was quite moved by my question.

His choices way back when were between the priesthood or law enforcement. He opted for the path where he believed he could best serve his fellow man. His mama would be proud of Joe. I am!

Two days later, at The Bread Wagon, (www.breadwagon.com), just north of Thomasville on US Highway 19, I stopped in to purchase two of my favorite paring knives. It was a Monday and the store, which specializes in Amish and Mennonite food products, was closed, but the door was unlocked and so… yeah, you guessed it.

I found everybody in the back of the building. Anna Marie had opened for a group of first and second graders who already had made pretzels and cinnamon rolls that were in the oven, and, when I walked in, the kids were decorating cakes they had baked! There’s patience and then there’s multicolored frosted patience bathed in pure joy! That was the prevailing atmosphere of greatness I witnessed at The Bread Wagon!

The next day, I traveled on to Colquitt, which now boasts 15 magnificent murals based on true stories that have come from the story gathering procedure that is part of the Swamp Gravy process. Swamp Gravy, Georgia’s Official Folk Life Play, (www.swampgravy.com) serves as a great catalyst for social, racial, and various economic groups to come together and work to cross the boundaries that sometimes exist between these groups.

BTW, the Global Mural and Arts Conference will be held in Colquitt this month with representatives from “mural cities” from all over the world gathering to discuss processes, funding, promotion of public art, and also to hear from artists. Learn more at www.colquittgamurals.com.

From Colquitt, I drove northward on US 27, where a few miles out of town, on the right, I spotted the new Peace Valley Market (phone 229-758-2880), which just opened in September. There I bought amazingly fresh and delicious Mennonite food products from the Ebersole family. Folks like David, Naomi, Joshua, Esther Ruth and Hannah revive… refresh… restore me. Their work ethic is so evident, their humility breathtakingly apparent, and the PEACE that reigns in their presence clearly defines the “still waters” about which another great musician sang a long, long time ago.

Yeah, last week, I got it! I am blessed to have walked among such greatness.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for September 28, 2010
 

A couple of weeks back, after this season’s opener against the Saints produced for the Minnesota Vikings a pathetic 14-9 loss, Brett Favre said, "... There were a lot of opportunities that we capitalized on, but way too many that we didn't."

His words were a profound analogy concerning all aspects of life.

I’m not a huge football fan and I certainly did not pay that much attention to the game; I just want to generically consider Favre’s statement.

Could it be that ME-itis is at the center of why we fail to capitalize on so many amazing opportunities throughout life? I’m talking about an inflamed ego here – as in too much emphasis on self.

How often do we consider the whole family, the larger group, the team, even all of humanity?

How often do we accuse or excuse when we should be seeking for ways to communicate, really listen, understand, learn from our past and embrace our future?

Let’s consider how we treat God, for instance.

Has there ever been a time when you sought to blame God for your circumstances? To accuse God of failing you? To excuse yourself from any of the blame for a failure or missed opportunity?

I am appalled when I stop to consider how many times I have blamed God, been angry at God, and totally misunderstood God.

Am I assuming that I can always understand God? No.

I have, however, seen many scenarios play out over the years and been afforded the opportunity to look back and see His hand at work through it all.

The flip side of that coin is that I have seen many scenarios play out in which I have seen how our choices refused Him the opportunity to work things out for our good.

Do I really believe that? That God does not always work things out for our good?

Absolutely, I do. The oft quoted verse from Romans 8:28 is quite clear regarding all things working for good based on HIS purposes, not mine or yours.

We often spout off about how much we love God and claim on faith that all things are working for our good.

But how often do we spend time alone with him? One-on-one time, hand-in-hand walking time, REAL prayer time where He gets to talk, too, and we listen. Then and only then do we get to catch a glimpse of His purposes.

Shucks, how often do we even attempt to really talk and really listen with friends, relatives, work associates? I’m talking honest communication here!

Many times I have seen friends, family and patients die in great agony because, until the very last breath, their focus remained on themselves, the things they never finished, the wealth they never spent, the power they never used.

Seldom, oh! so seldom do we grasp the importance of the eternal perspective on everything we do and say. How often do we ask ourselves, “Will this matter a hundred years from now? A thousand? In eternity?” It could be that some things will matter for all eternity.

One of those things may be your influence.

It is interesting to note here that we can’t always know what will be the last thing somebody remembers that we said or did.

We say we can’t control the fact that time goes on and we move on, but the one we hurt reminds behind, scarred and stuck with our words stinging their aching hearts forever.

Is that our fault? Are we responsible when other people can’t just forgive, forget and move on? Are we?

Our failure to truly, openly, without self-centered agendas, communicate truth – that is, to speak truth and listen to truth... makes us responsible. Jealousy, insecurity, greed, the desire for fame or power... countless influences keep us focused on self and the present moment more than on the greater good and all eternity.

Every now and then I get this tiny and very fleeting glimpse of what Jesus must have meant on the cross when He said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Clearly, He understood the concept of eternity... and missed opportunities.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for September 21, 2010

Last week’s column brought comments from a variety of people who repeatedly used words like: brave, courageous, humbling, inspiring and honest.

One woman told me, “I think you are finally writing like God called you to write.”

It’s been a long road...

Then there was one frustrated person who asked, “Don’t you know the Bible is the only inspired Word of God?”

While I do believe that the bible is the unerring inspired Word of God, I absolutely do NOT believe it is the only inspired word of God.

God cannot be limited in the ways He chooses to communicate with us.

First, we must remember that many people take biblical passages out of context and use them for their own agenda in ways that I often suspect are not at all inspired by a loving heavenly Father. I have been guilty and you may have been as well.

Secondly, I don’t know how many times original biblical manuscripts have been translated, but I do know that when I tell a personal story it tends to lose or gain something each time it is repeated.

And, just consider all the nations and tongues, and political and economic agendas, and unending power plays and/or vendettas that have been tied to various biblical translations through the years.

Certainly, no greater book exists; however, aside from the Ten Commandments, the Bible simply does not offer a yearly, daily, hourly schedule by which I must live my life.

Instead, every piece of history, or biography, or encouragement, or warning, or prophecy, or even hand-picked words that may appear to read like explicit instructions… require faith.

And what is faith?

It’s not knowing if your kid will regain consciousness as you race to the hospital with his limp body… but hoping he will.

It’s facing a thousand daily whys after the tragic and unexplained loss of a loved one… and believing there is some kind of purpose behind it all.

It’s wondering how you can continue to put one foot in front of the other or tolerate one more roll of the wheelchair when your body is racked with pain… and trusting that the forward momentum is worth it.

It’s storing all your belongings or giving them away because you now must sleep in your car or with someone who cares enough to put a roof over your head after the bank takes possession of yours... and realizing how “shelter” means so more than just a roof.

It’s staring into the eyes and hearts of loved ones who look to you for sustenance on countless levels while you impotently search for ways to respond… and trying to turn from the bottle or the pill that you know will temporarily numb your pain.

It’s watching every material dream you ever had go up in smoke, or get bathed in oil, or washed away by torrential rains, all the while wondering how long a debt ridden government can continue to “help”… and knowing that YOUR help comes not from man, but from the Lord.

That’s faith.

We are so focused on material things in America that we have grown pathetically ignorant of that which matters most, which is love. Just love.

If our motivation for anything we do is real love, and not about who is right or who is wrong, then it absolutely will find a way to have an eternal effect.

It takes faith, as well as a bit of reasoning that is tied to my understanding of I Corinthians 12 and 13, to say that.

 My faith has never been blind; it is instead based on decades of watching what I perceive to be God at work in all our hearts and lives.

SO, while I know of no greater book than the Bible, I do not discount God’s ability to use anything and anyone to drive home His amazing message of love. In the end, if we do not have love, we have nothing. I have sat by the bedsides of too many dying men and women to ever be convinced differently.

I deeply appreciate the feedback I get and all the ways you help me keep growing and learning. I hope and pray - regarding our amazing shared earth experience - that eternity will someday shout, “And love won!”

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MARY JANE HOLT column for September 14, 2010

On Saturday, September 11, 2010, alone in my bedroom I knelt and prayed. I first requested forgiveness then asked God what He wanted to talk to me about.

For three hours, He answered in ways I could never have imagined. No audible voice. Just endless thoughts. Some degree of bantering back and forth. Profound revelations at intervals. I took notes.

My heart had been heavy all week regarding several things, not the least of which was the threat by the pastor in Florida to burn the Quran. 

During my prayer time, the Holy Spirit took me on an amazing journey back through time. 

We returned to the day of Abraham and Sarah. With Abraham in his 80’s, and still no offspring, Sarah offered her maidservant, Hagar, to him for childbearing. That union produced Ishmael. Thirteen years later, as Abraham approached 100, Sarah finally gave birth to Isaac.

Jealousy apparently ruled after Ishmael was born, and years later, when Isaac was born, Sarah demanded that Abraham banish Hagar and her son from the household.

Isaac then fathered twins, Jacob and Esau, with Esau being born first and becoming the rightful heir to his father’s blessing. However, in Isaac’s old age and with his eyesight failing him, Jacob dressed up like Esau and entreated his father to give him the birthright. That’s right, he deceived, manipulated and stole what was rightfully Esau’s, but he got it.

Then through Jacob’s bloodline comes today’s Jews… and Jesus. Through Esau, who married Ishmael’s daughter, comes the prophet Mohammed and today’s Muslims.

You may recall that Jews and Christians believe it was Isaac that God told Abraham to sacrifice and then at the last minute, God provided a lamb for the sacrifice instead. It is my understanding that Muslims believe it was Ishmael God told Abraham to sacrifice.

I cannot offer a comparison of all that the Bible and the Quran teach about the lives of Jacob and Esau and the generations that followed them, but I have come to believe that we humans are created in the image of God - a God of free will. Thus we get to make choices.

So, at one point in my time alone with God on Saturday, I said to Him, “Are you telling me that it’s ALL fluid. That it’s like that FreeCell card game I play on the computer where I try to look ahead of each play to see how each card I move will affect the other cards on the board. You can see all the cards. You see how each independent move we make is going to affect the other person and then you plot your strategy based on OUR moves? No way!”

“Not exactly, but I AM the one who set it all in place,” God said.

“Yeah, I know…” I whisper, with mixed emotions as I think about our free wills, and the Garden of Eden, and Cain and Abel, even of Eve and how jealousy has colored all of human history.

We try so hard, all of us, in all of our ways, with our great assortment of complex belief systems to get it right, to manipulate and calculate in an effort to somehow obtain our Father’s blessing and to someday be allowed to return to Him. Yet, no matter how much our good deeds outnumber our bad deeds, still we fall short of perfection and seem unable to grasp the concept of unconditional love.

All the major religions, even Christianity, stress the importance of doing good and not evil. Only Christianity makes allowances for the fact that we never can be good enough on our own.

Back in October of 1978 I let go of my jealousy of Jesus and asked Him to be my Lord and Savior. I confessed that I had been jealous of Him because I knew somehow that I was God’s kid, too, and I did not understand why Jesus got such preferential treatment.

On that crisp fall day, I believed by faith that Jesus was more than a Son of God, or even THE Son of God. I believed that He was indeed God and that He Himself had become the sacrificial lamb that now makes forgiveness possible and unconditional love believable. The rest… well, the rest is still in play.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for September 7, 2010

 “Have a Little Faith” by Mitch Albom easily carved a niche for itself among my top five non-fiction books to date. I was sad upon reading the last page. Sad there was no more… UNTIL I realized “Have a Little Faith” is my story, too, and that it is never-ending!

Neither my story nor yours ever ends. Always, while we breathe, we are influencing and being influenced. Then, like it or not, upon our deaths the influence continues… without any further conscious attempt on our part to sway the thoughts and minds of others.

The day will come when our attempts to control what others think will end. Who we were will speak for itself. What we did and did not do will stand alone.

We all need such reminders from time to time. “Have a Little Faith” is an amazing reminder; but the little book is SO much more.

I was especially moved when Albom quoted from a sermon his Rabbi shared in 1981 in which he told of a soldier’s little girl who was sitting at the airport all propped up against packs and duffel bags, when a lady stopped and patted her on the head in pity, and said, “Poor child, you have no home.”

Surprised, the little girl looked up and said, “But we do have a home; we just don’t have a house to put it in.”

Sadly, I suspect our world contains far more houses than homes.

It is said that home is where the heart is. I find no fault with that phrase. Home has little or nothing to do with architecture or belongings of any sort.

Home is where memories are made. Where laughter is heard. Where tears are shed. Where an embrace from the ones you love enhances the joy, soothes the pain and offers warmth which surpasses that of any heating system known to mankind.

That which we will leave behind when we go has little to do with the framework of a building or the possessions within it. History and nature teaches us that possessions can be gone quickly, while life teaches us that some things actually remain unchanged by death and financial loss or natural disasters.

For instance, my dad’s death in 1988, has not erased my memory of him standing at the end of my grandmother’s porch, coaxing me, “Jump and I will catch you,” he said over and over. “You can do it, I know you can.”

Eventually, I jumped. He caught me and I’ve been jumping ever since.

Nor has time erased the fact that my family had lived in 18 houses by the time I was 18 years old. Unlike, Miranda Lambert’s amazing hit song, I do not have a “House That Built Me.” On the contrary, I have love that built me – the love of family and friends and even strangers.

I have not always been caught when I have jumped; but being caught that first time laid the foundation for me to believe I could be a jumper!

A lifetime of jumping and sometimes failing to make the desired connection has taught me that my Heavenly Father is ever present to help get up and jump again!

How thankful I am now that there is no architectural structure to which my roots are attached. Grounded in love, my focus always has been on jumping around, not on putting down roots.

The bible tells us that all things will vanish away except love. That comforts me. Even knowledge will go, we are told, but love will remain.

Consider all you know about people, things and life that causes you to feel angry, disappointed, hurt, unforgiving, incomplete… then ask yourself if you can somehow get past such limited knowledge to a place of acceptance, forgiveness and love.

In closing, Albom encourages us to watch out for people of faith and spend time with them. He says, ”You may find there is something beautiful to learn, and it doesn’t bite you and it doesn’t weaken you, it only proves a divine spark lies inside each of us, and that spark may one day save the world.”

Say yes to such encounters and you will find your way home.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of August 31, 2010
 

Life has taught me that if I say it or write it, there is a good chance it will come back to haunt or bless me. I've been both haunted and blessed this week.
One day I was sad about yet another recent death when I read something I wrote a while back that offered comfort.
Then, later in the week, somebody questioned a past column in which I said you cannot be my friend if you cannot openly and truthfully communicate with me.
This person asked if I really thought he was not my friend because he does not always communicate like I seem to require.
I told him we can benefit to some degree from whatever our relationship may be and we can behave in a friendly manner, but no, we cannot be friends if he cannot communicate openly and honestly with me.
"Why?" he asked.
For me, that's a no-brainer. For him, it seemed to be an honest question. Maybe it's a guy thing.
I thought I made clear my reasoning in that column he referenced, but to further explain, I reminded him of how Scripture says that even God "repented" about various things. . . with repent meaning to change one's mind. Yep. Even God does that. Life forces us to. The free will of others makes the world a very fluid and ever-evolving place.
SO - if we do not communicate with one another honestly in the very present moments of our lives, then we may act on incomplete data at best, or inaccurate data at worst, which means we don't even know HOW to be a friend to one another.
It's dangerous to automatically assume that something somebody said to us days, months or even years ago is true and applicable to our relationship with that person today. It may be… but we cannot know that unless there is some degree of adequate and honest ongoing communication.
There are many people in my past that I believe were friends for a time. They now are just acquaintances or former friends. That does not mean we cannot be friends again, but I will not assume somebody is my friend simply because they were 15 years ago.
Jesus had a lot to say about friendship, especially in John 15. While I do not require that anybody do what I "command" in order to be my friend, I do require real communication even it results in disagreement. In fact, I am quite all right with agreeing to disagree.
I can still love you. I really can. I can pray for you and want good things for you and choose to believe the best of you. I can even be your friend, but you cannot be mine. . . if I cannot know and trust you in any given moment.
So you can be my sister, brother, uncle, cousin, neighbor or work associate and I can choose to love you and want to express my love in a great number of ways, but I will not call you friend if we are not consistently real with one another. I sometimes wish I could, but I can't. Maybe it's a girl thing!
You have heard and may have said countless times; "I had not heard from ____ for ___ years and when he called it was like taking up our conversation or relationship right where we left off." Of course things had changed because circumstances never stay the same, but an honest, open communication style can always transcend miles and time. . .
All that said, I now must tell you about a sermon I heard the Rev. Gary Parrish preach Sunday at Senoia Methodist Church, entitled: "If I had but one Sermon to Preach."
His four major points were: "Jesus came - Jesus died - Jesus arose - Jesus is coming again!"
The sermon was simple enough for a 5-year- old, yet complex enough for the most educated and discerning 85-year-old to appreciate!
I hope the last story I ever write, or tell, or the last person I ever brag about, will be my friend, Jesus. I think I'd be OK with the ways that could come back to haunt or bless me.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for August 24, 2010
 

More and more I believe we all have so much more in common than we think. Consider this quote from a Sarah Lawrence College commencement by Jessica Lange, a liberal actress with religious and political views quite different from mine:

“Be present and open to the moment that is unfolding before you, because, ultimately, your life is made up of moments. So don't miss them by being lost in the past or anticipating the future. Don't be absent from your own life.” 

There is a time for reminiscing and a time for planning ahead, but for the most part Jessica is SO right about living in the moment!

From George Strait’s new single these words ring out: “The breathing in and out that gets you through the day ain’t what it’s all about -- life’s not the breath you take, but the moments that take your breath away.”

Now here’s a guy with religious and political views a bit more in line with mine, but I’m thinking that some days we do simply have to go through the motions. Therefore I can’t fully agree with his lyrics.

Without those times when we just have to keep moving... and go through those motions, and dully or desperately breathe in and out to get from moment to moment, then we would never be able to truly appreciate the moments that joyfully take our breath away.

We are foolish to think no common ground can be found among those of us with widely diverse ideologies. I suggest there is much to be respectfully, even reverently shared... and such commonality can be found in the extraordinarily everyday moments of our lives.

I challenge you to fully experience your next sunrise and each sunset (yeah, they are yours and your neighbor’s!) Gaze long into a sparkling star studded night that also belongs to you and the guy next door. Don’t miss it the next time a baby in a grocery buggy offers you and the stranger near you the shared gift of an innocent smile.

Listen closely each time a bird sings for you and those around you. Watch a spider create art for all passersby. Beauty abounds in our world – just for you and me and all those with whom we share this world.

Consider a first and last... embrace, or a hard-won victory over pain, or stress relieving laughter – laughter so hard that your gut hurts and tears flow. So much of what we define as life is shared with others whose religious and political belief systems seem very different from our own.

We all remember only too well how we came together as a nation on 9/11/2001 -- the day Americans stood still and stood together... grieved together and prayed together.

Today, in the aftermath of 9/11, at a time when American soldiers are in harm’s way all around the world, while many here at home are divided regarding how we should go forward... I invite you to join me on 9/11/2010 at 5 p.m. at The Villages Amphitheater in Peachtree City for a community prayer and worship service.

Let us come together with common united hearts and join in far too uncommon united prayer and praise for all we hold dear and precious.

Let us pray for knowledge and wisdom during these turbulent spiritual and economic times as we seek to create from a few extraordinary shared moments a precious memory.

Pastors, teachers, nurses, doctors, medics, firefighters, policemen, soldiers and countless individuals from all walks of life will indeed come together for an amazing time of praise and prayer and music.

Activities will begin at 5 p.m. and end approximately at 8 p.m. Join me now and join me in Peachtree City on 9/11. Let us pray together for our nation and world as we approach yet another anniversary of a day that proved we can indeed lay aside our differences for a time and come together for the common good of all.

9/11/2001 may have taught Americans more about our potential to come together for the common good than any other event of my lifetime. Let us prayerfully remember on 9/11/2010 countless lessons the day still teaches.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of August 17, 2010 

I had several interesting responses to last week’s column. One person asked me if I was condoning suicide in some situations.

On the contrary, I specifically said that suicide is always a horrific permanent solution to a temporary challenge.

I totally stand by that, but because of interest shown and questions asked this week I want to say more.

About 20 years ago I was asked to speak at the funeral of a friend who had taken his life because his health had taken a major downturn. It was a sad, truly heartbreaking time.

I felt so inadequate, but I chose to share the following scripture from John 13:34-38 through 14:1-3:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 

By this shall all know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. 

Simon Peter said unto him, Lord, whither goest thou? Jesus answered him, Whither I go, thou canst not follow me now; but thou shalt follow me afterwards. 

Peter said unto him, Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thy sake.

Jesus answered him, Wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake? Verily, verily, I say unto thee, The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied me thrice. 

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. 

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 

Many of you have heard the “Let not your heart be troubled…” passage at funerals, but I was inspired to read all those verses as one continuous passage that day.

When you read that exchange between Jesus and Peter immediately followed by the amazing promise Christ gives us IN SPITE of the countless ways we all blow it, well… a new perspective comes into play. And with that perspective the desire to judge others is much diminished.

Many years ago, when my younger son, Derrick, prayed to receive Christ as his Savior, he spoke these memorable words “God please forgive me for the sins I have done, the ones I’m doing and the ones I’m going to do...”

At ten years old, Derrick grasped his insufficiency in contrast to the sufficiency of Christ. Even at that very young age, he had come to understand the message Jesus conveyed to Peter just prior to going to His Cross. 

Two thousand years apart, Peter and Derrick both learned, as I said last week, that God is aware of all things and knows us intimately. He’s been far more than just an observer of His creation through the ages. Nothing takes Him by surprise. He gets us!

God loves us. Just like we are and where we are at any moment in time. We can’t be too far away for His love to reach us or too much of a mess for God to love us. I repeat: He’s been in on everything from the get-go. I promise!

If you are going through a hard time right now, and I know some of you are because you have told me so this past week, then I want to offer you a most amazing exercise. You can do it anywhere, without moving anything but your lips. Just do it aloud to get the full effect.

I want you to say three words over and over and over, repeatedly placing emphasis as I show you here with all caps:

GOD loves me…

God LOVES me…

God loves ME!

Breathe slowly and deeply with the lines and repeat them again and again and again until you finally get that God gets you and loves you. Then let God tie a knot in that rope you are holding onto and trust Him to hold the other end! He will never let you go.
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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of August 10, 2010 

The game of life never stops taking me by surprise. While trying to enjoy the game and learn from it, I just wish we all would play to win.

Suicide has touched my life yet again and I am left searching, wondering, hurting, praying.

There are those who say that genetics have a role, but circumstances or environment or various influences are what really shape us more than genetics do.

We are told that any point in time we can choose to be different and to act differently. Genetics may make it more difficult or easier for some than others but we all have choices.

Furthermore, Dr. Doris Hewitt tells me the latest research on genetics suggests that our choices actually can effect our genetics. (See “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce Lipton, PhD)

I reckon I’m okay with the whole “genetics, environment, choice” picture as long as we don’t leave God out of the mix. You see, Psalm 139 speaks volumes that all of us who search, wonder, and hurt would do well to read regularly.

God is God. We are His kids. He is aware of all things and knows us intimately. He’s been far more than just an observer of His creation through the ages. Nothing takes Him by surprise. He gets us!

From Psalm 139:

O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. … and art acquainted with all my ways. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.… Whither shall I go from thy spirit?... For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.… How precious also are thy thoughts unto me! …  Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 

What I find amazing about this passage is that it takes into consideration both heredity and environment and assures us God is in both.

For some time now I have incorporated into my daily prayer parts of Psalm 139. I often start my prayers with “Lord, you know I’m a mess… but if You don’t give up on me then I won’t either.”

It’s a simple beginning to what usually is an all day and sometimes an all night exchange. Nothing formal going on here. Just talkin’ to God. Why? ‘Cause He gets me! 

More than that, He loves me. I suggest that He loves you too. Just like you are. You can’t be too much of a mess for God to love you. He’s been in on everything from the get-go. I promise!

This most recent suicide has stunned me… I think I now have lost count of the number of suicides that have directly or indirectly deeply touched my heart and life, but it’s around 20.

Recent research led me not only to the Scriptures to which I always turn for answers and comfort when I hurt, but also to an amazing website http://metanoia.org/suicide/ that may be of help to those who struggle as I do with the grief and pain of suicide.

These two resources certainly could be helpful to you if you interact with others who struggle.

Curve balls come at us constantly in the game of life. I once thought that reference to life as a game was a bit frivolous, but I’ve grown okay with it.

I know life is more of a battle between good and evil, but I am okay with a reference to it as a game as long as we stay focused on winning.

I challenge you whether you play or fight… do so to win. Suicide is never the right option, answer or move. Suicide is always a horrific permanent solution to a temporary challenge.

If you are hurting, ask for help. If life’s a game for you, let God coach you; if it’s a battle, let him be your Commander on the battlefield.

Empty yourself of all preconceived notions of self-reliance and call out to God for help. He will hear and answer… then you must choose from new options He will provide for you.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for August 3, 2010

I have been asked repeatedly in recent days what got me on this “truth” theme that I won’t shut up about.

In part, it was Saint Paul in his letter to the church at Philippi, at a point where he was addressing a lot of gossiping that was taking place in that body of believers. Here it is:

Finally (hereafter and for the future), brethren, whatever things are true (not hidden, unconcealed, truthful); honest (to be venerated for character, honorable); just (observing divine and human laws); pure (clean, modest, immaculate); lovely (acceptable and pleasing), of good report (spoken in a kindly spirit with good will toward others); if there be any virtue (virtuous course of thought), and if there be any praise (commendation), think (reckon, compute, calculate, think over… This use of “think” deals with reality. If I reckon that my bank book has $25 in it, it has $25 in it. Otherwise I am deceiving myself. This word refers more to fact than supposition or opinion.) on these things (absolutely, visibly present things).

That’s what did it, but not the whole verse. I still have not been able to get past the word “true.”

When I am attempting to train a child, nurture a friendship or grow any kind of relationship then I agree wholeheartedly that Philippians 4:8 is amazing advice in that it encourages me to focus on the positive.

But, before I can get there, what I focus on must be TRUE.

Last fall I did an in-depth study into Psalm 91 and subsequently Ephesians 6. While doing that study I became amazed at the profound importance of TRUTH.

Psalm 91 often is referred to as the psalm of protection, safety, security, even The Soldier’s Psalm. For more information, go to www.tuesdaybs.com and click on Psalm 91.

Ephesians 6 also is about how to fight. All of recorded history teaches us that we must be well equipped if we are to survive any kind of warfare.

Ephesians 6 tells us that the first piece of armor or equipment that we are to put on in preparation for battle is truth!

Truth means “what is true in any matter under consideration”.

A while back, a lack of truth, in part, caused me to face extraordinary challenges.

I was blessed, however, because on the day when I was at my lowest, I cried out aloud to God for help. I screamed in prayer, “I cannot fight anymore.”

A still small voice immediately whispered: “then let me fight for you…”

So I did… and God did.

Within days, TRUTH began to be uncovered. Months of action and inaction based on inadequate information and poor communication had taken a huge toll. 

It happens in all of our lives to some extent. I bet the quality of your life has been affected countless times by withheld truth, partial information or blatant lies.

I am not sure I will ever shut up about the importance of truth. Since I mentioned Philippians 4:8, I’d like to remind well meaning Christians how foolish we are when try to bathe our whole world in that verse. There’s too much injustice and evil which we should seek to expose.

Why would we need to shine light in darkness if everything was true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy? Why would darkness even exist if such conditions were consistently present in all people and circumstances?

Common Sense… where has it gone?

I leave you with these words from I Kings 19 if you are as desperate for answers as I was a while back:

“And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: and after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.”

I am thankful that life continues to teach me how to better listen to that still small voice in my search for truth.

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of July 26, 2010
 

Last week, when I talked about the importance of openness and honesty, I had no way of knowing how well the Shirley Sherrod saga would soon vividly illustrate some of my points.

Ms. Sherrod grew up in Baker County, GA. I am told she was one of four daughters when her dad was killed by a white farmer just a few months before the birth of the son her mom and dad had longed for.

Twenty years ago when faced with an opportunity to help another white farmer in a neighboring county keep his farm, she overcame deep seated prejudice and did her job well.

Then in a two minute excerpt from a speech she gave earlier this year at a NAACP event, that recently went viral over the internet and was subsequently broadcast over every major news outlet in America, it appeared that she was indeed still quite prejudiced. However, she was talking about where she has come FROM.

I spoke with Mrs. Eloise Spooner, the wife of the white farmer who was pivotal in helping Ms. Sherrod overcome her prejudice. It was through him and his family that Ms. Sherrod learned how it is not the color of a person’s skin that so often makes them helpless, as much as a lack of resources.

With the right knowledge, information, and contacts it is much easier to get right things done.

Right action… Hmmm.

What would our world be like if we all just did the “right” thing?

In many instances, however, we are too lazy, ignorant or cowardly to do the right thing.

All of us, based on our own prejudices or pre-conceived notions, are guilty of jumping toward fast, inaccurate conclusions based on far too much partial truth.

But what can one expect in a world where real human interaction is becoming obsolete?

Communication technology has brought many wonderful improvements to our world, but it may prove to be the downfall of many individuals, organizations and even nations.

At its best, modern communication technology robs us of the warmth of another’s presence, the ability to read body language, the opportunity to detect open approval or blatant hostility. Phone texts, instant messages, and emails are totally void of that which most enhances human contact.

At its worst, modern communication technology manipulates and controls individuals who more and more refuse to think for themselves. We rejoice that we can so easily and efficiently access INFORMation.

Think for ourselves? Why? We have countless informed sources to think for us!

We have young and sexy, well educated(?), charismatic news anchors to tell us what matters. And, of course, we have the internet, where, in just a matter of minutes, a manipulated, distorted, impartial truth can travel the globe.

When did instant, distorted communication come to mean more than real and often hard-to-come-by truth?

That two minute excerpt, taken out of context, could have ruined Shirley Sherrod’s reputation and life.

Ah, but she later received a personal phone call with an apology from the president himself who had jumped to wrong conclusions based on -- you guessed it -- partial truth.

Scary, isn’t it?

How often do you and I do it? How often do we blindly believe? Do we ever question the “facts”? When do we care enough to exert time and energy to investigate anything? Are we even capable of climbing out of our comfort zones and doing the right thing anymore?

In many instances, we are too lazy, ignorant or cowardly to even attempt to discover what the right thing might be.

Strangely, while Shirley was in her third day of constant media attention, I was emailed another heavily edited video of our president that portrays him as an anti American Muslim.

That same day a story came out about a 400 member list-serv, some of whom are “unbiased” media professionals. Now, three years after the facts(?), we are informed of how that group, in an early opinion exchange session, plotted to discredit Sarah Palin, just after McCain chose her as his running mate. 

Truth be damned, our lazy minds and hearts are being manipulated daily through tainted, distorted, incomplete INFORMation. Yeah, scary, isn’t it?

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of July 19, 2010
 

If you cannot be open and honest, you cannot be my friend.

You can be my acquaintance. We can speak in passing and have an occasional casual, even enjoyable conversation, I suppose, but you cannot be my friend.

I have thousands of acquaintances with whom I have interacted on some level over the years. I cherish meeting people and being exposed to whatever aspects of their lives they are willing to share. I truly am eager to consider new perspectives that so many wonderful people bring to my life experience.

Just don’t call yourself my “friend” unless you can be real with me.

Hardly a day goes by that I am not disturbed by the poor self-esteem of so many people with whom I interact, a huge issue that may lie behind what keeps many of us from being honest, open and REAL.

I teach a workshop in which I tell participants that no matter what the past may seem to have dictated, no matter what they have heard others say about them, no matter what they may once have thought of themselves… they have far more control concerning their lives than they think they do.

During one of the workshop exercises I ask participants to write answers (for their eyes only) to the following questions:

1. What is the most painful thing you can recall that another person has ever said about you?

2. What is the worst thing you can think of that you think somebody else might have thought of you at any one point in time? What grounds did they have for thinking it? Crawl back into their mind if you can and try to understand why they might have thought what you thought they thought… Got that?

3. What is the most critical or really derogatory adjective or description you have ever used to describe yourself?

4. What is the worst thing you can think of that you have thought about yourself at any point in time and later discovered you had it wrong – that you yourself were absolutely wrong about you?

Perhaps you would like to answer these questions as well today, for your heart only…

Can you see how it may be your perception -- that is what you choose to believe about what is said or done -- that influences your life?

Can you believe that your perception has influenced you and caused you to remember past words or actions which now control your present, perhaps even your future?

Remember, those who say potentially insulting, hurtful, critical, derogatory, shameful, guilt-provoking things to us, or about us, seldom even remember what they say, yet many of us let the painful words we hear mold our entire lives!

Can you believe and accept the responsibility that it has been your choices about how to deal with your perceptions that has helped to make you who you are today?

It’s almost never WHAT was said or done that shapes us. It’s our personal choices about how to react to what we may or may not accurately have perceived regarding another’s words or actions.

We make choices every day; then those choices make us.

Other people cannot maintain power over our hearts and souls and thought processes unless we make the choice at some point to allow them such power.

We do not have to be the result of anybody’s manipulation. It may be hard for some to go really deep inside themselves and be honest about perception and responsibility because we love the blame game, don’t we?

Just think about what we could accomplish and how we could grow if we dropped the excuses we use for various behaviors that are not only harming us, but those around us! What if we took responsibility for ourselves? What if we became PROactive instead of REactive?

Perhaps we could revolutionize the world and God knows there is need for revolution!

Know that we cannot grow, prosper and truly enjoy life until we stop blaming others.

Have the courage to honestly answer the above questions, and perhaps you can help start the revolution!

Shucks, you and I might even be friends one day… Who knows?!

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of July 14, 2010

Famed American essayist, poet, and popular philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson died in 1882, but he endeared himself to me in the late 1960’s. 

I cite him frequently when I speak and the Emerson quote I most often use is this one: 

“Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today. 

“‘Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.’ Is it so bad then to be misunderstood? 

“Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. 

 “To be great is to be misunderstood.”

Those of you who know me well will not be surprised to know that my husband says the only thing consistent about me is my inconsistency. 

Sometimes it appears to be a sweet compliment. Sometimes it does not quite sound like praise… 

Oh, well… it’s my birthday again this week and as a gift to myself, I thought I would finally explain in writing why “Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today” is my favorite quote! 

Please know that to be great has never been my aspiration. In fact, I really love the privacy and reduced pressure that anonymity affords one. I do, however, take some degree of pride in being inconsistent. Here’s why: 

It just means I learned something new. If I learn well and figure out how to apply what I learn then it changes me and I often welcome that change. I say often (not always) because we are talking growing pains here and sometimes growth hurts! 

My one truly selfish ambition has been to never be bored. There I said it. We are talking selfish! I can bear just about anything but boredom, so I strive to meet new people all the time and hear their stories and try to relate to their experiences. I really thrive on such exchanges!

With new interaction with new people I receive new insights. Some of those insights are worthy of application in my life. Thus I am changed. 

Then there is something else that makes for constant change in my heart and life. I have been a student of the Bible since my pre-teens. In my late teens I began to study other major religions, as well. Ultimately it all came down to Jesus for me. Not religion. Just Jesus. 

With the wondrous Jesus package comes THE Holy Spirit. I emphasis THE in all caps because I have been aware since early childhood that angels and demons are not fantasy. They are real. 

Thus, exposure to the spirit world and the battles that take place there certainly has changed me over the years. It was my understanding when I asked Christ to come into my heart that THE Holy Spirit would come, too! I was not misled.

Growing in Christ brings steady change. If it doesn’t, then we who call ourselves Christians probably need to regularly reevaluate our relationship with Him. It is indeed an active, dynamic relationship that God desires with us.

I’ve said, since my early thirties, when I got serious about wanting a relationship with Christ, that nothing has been more real since then.

My siblings and sons affectionately call me weird. There are others among my closest friends and family who say I walk to a different drum beat… That’s okay, for I don’t walk alone and I am never bored!

So, when my hubby says the only thing consistent about me is my inconsistency, I just smile inside and breathe a prayer of thanks that the consistent, unconditional love of God makes persistently growing in His love not only possible, but great fun! 

Someday when God is through working on me then perhaps the perceptions of others will be different. Until then I intend to keep growing and enjoying the journey as I embrace my sixth decade!

Who knows? Maybe God will never be finished working on me… Ah, what an absolutely amazing eternal adventure that could turn out to be! 

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of July 5, 2010

 There are people in our lives who point us, push us, direct us, even drive us toward God.

Some we like. Some we don’t. Some we easily and immediately appreciate. Some we learn to appreciate over time. Some we never figure out how to truly appreciate.

And then there is Karyn Williams… Let me tell you where she falls!

Karyn is a magnet! You know how when you drop a magnet into a bunch of metal shavings and all those varied slivers are attracted to it. They just immediately jump towards it!

That’s how it is with Karyn. I was mightily drawn to her as I read her book, “The Takeaway,” that was co-authored with her dad. I was even more drawn to her when I spoke with her by phone. Then I was totally taken with her when I met her in person!

I wanted to adopt her, but I could not do that; she is already one in a family of 19 children, 14 of whom are adopted and from four different countries.

I hereby give notice to the entire family, however: you must share her!

You must share her with all the rest of the world because through her joy, happiness, struggles, music, her very journey… she draws us to Jesus.

Karyn was in the Atlanta area recently for several appearances including an interview on Across The Corner on 92.5 FM in Senoia. Following that Sunday evening interview she spent the night in my home. We sat up until well past 2 a.m. talking and visiting, then resumed our connection when we awoke the next morning.

You learn a lot about a person late at night and first thing in the morning. Give me somebody who is dog tired at the end of the day, or sleepy-eyed first thing in the morning, and there is MUCH I can learn about them that they will never reveal during the day when they are all properly put together.

God deliver me from ever being judged by anyone first thing in the morning!

Yet, Karyn passed both tests. There Jesus was - shining through her! Glowing she was! She can’t help it. She loves HIM. HE loves her. It shows!

No doubt about it, this former beauty queen, now professional songwriter and extraordinarily gifted singer is physically beautiful – just simply adorable. That outer beauty certainly draws people to her, but it is the inner beauty which makes you stick like shavings on a magnet.

The first song she ever wrote, "Taking You With Me" became the companion piece to her book "The Takeaway."  When the song caught national attention it was immediately called "The daughter's response to Butterfly Kisses".  See www.karynwilliams.com.

Her first single, entitled Rejoice, was recently released to Christian radio. It says it all for those of us who would choose to “rejoice” in all things – especially amidst circumstances in which we do not feel like rejoicing.

Not all messages, testimonies or songs are believable. We all know what the right marketing can do for just about any project. But when you have been in the presence of one whose JOY so honestly escapes from every pore no matter what, then you know it’s God JOY ‘cause we humans just can’t make that stuff up!

Karyn’s life has NOT been without struggle. At 30, in spite of what many would call the very best advantages, she still has known pain and grown positively and joyfully from having known it.

I would be amiss if I did not give some credit in this column to her motivational speaker dad, Pat Williams, senior vice president of the NBA’s Orlando Magic, author of 55 books, including his latest title, “Extreme Dreams Depend on Teams.” 

But when you meet somebody like Karyn and experience Jesus in her the way Karyn so easily lets you, then you know the real credit goes to the God she has permitted to love, nurture and sustain her in preparation for work He has called her to do. Watch and listen out for Karyn Williams. God has called her into the “people blessing business”. She is responding!

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of June 21, 2010

Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! Right there in the middle of cleaning my fridge I just had to stop and yell “YES!”

Ecstasy consumed me! Yep, right in the midst of a fridge cleaning! Definitely a first ever…

Such expression was prompted by far too many things to list in this column, but I’ll try to describe the final moments that led to my “yes” epiphany.

It had been months since I’d cleaned my fridge, so you can only imagine what I found. When I started to clean out the produce drawer I felt thankful that no one had died in recent weeks from consumed items that had rested there for a time.

Excitement over my gratitude faded fast as I realized I had to pour bleach in that drawer if I was ever gonna trust it to be ‘clean enough’ again. So a good soap scrubbing followed by a diluted bleach rinse finally put my mind at ease.

Then, of course, I had fear issues with bleach residue getting on my food. So I set the drawer out in the sun, then followed the sunning with yet another soap scrubbing and rinse.

But, surely you know by now that is not what had me shouting! Just prior to tackling the monumental task I’d been on the phone for quite some time with my cousin, a retired doctor, who has always been on my short list of most admired people.

I was putting everything back in my spotless, gleaming fridge when I realized there was not enough apple juice in the half gallon jug to put it back, so I turned it up and drank FROM THE JUG.

I had NEVER done such a thing! Drink from a bottle or jug? Good heavens no!

Now, I once did wrap up, in a big fluffy towel, a gallon canister half full of homemade banana ice and take it to bed with me. I was home alone - in bed alone. I enJOYed that ice cream without a smidgeon of guilt about keeping it all to myself, after earlier telling guests, who had wanted third helpings, that it was all gone. I felt no guilt even though I’d fibbed.

That’s what happened when I turned up the apple juice. NO GUILT! 

Of course, since I have never perfected such a technique, I did not know that when you do it then the juice just trickles down all over you. Yuck!

All over my neck, and of course gravity then pulled it into the next anatomical vicinity which caught all the stickiness. Ordinarily I would have stopped what I was doing immediately and showered and changed. I mean syrup on the table at a breakfast restaurant drives me nuts. Cannot deal with sticky!

Ah, but my cousin, who, like I said, has always been on my short list of people who I really care what they think, well, he’d just told me that he admired me too! Said he’s felt that way ever since we were kids!

You’d have to understand our childhood to really “get” what that statement meant to me.

It meant SO much that just for a few minutes, I didn’t have to be perfect. I didn’t have to feel guilty ‘bout turning up that jug. I didn’t have to quickly clean up my mess and make things “right”!

In fact, I have been working on that whole guilt thing for several weeks now. This multi-colored chameleon that has spent her life trying to be “good enough” by too many unrealistic and foolishly conceived standards -- well, I think that chameleon may have disappeared this morning, perhaps forever. I can only hope!

 It’s like that for all of us… I’m back to the produce drawer now. In all of our lives, there’s slime and grime hidden away in the dark places of our hearts and souls. Every now and then we have to clean it out if we want to become or stay healthy.

I’ve done spot cleaning all my life. But faced with my own mortality a few weeks ago, like I never have confronted it before, well… the REAL cleaning started. “Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!” just kinda says it all!

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of June 21, 2010

More and more I am learning that people who tell me what they think I want to hear are of little use to me. Sure, we all seek out people who inspire us to feel good about ourselves - but at what price? We use others to help us climb and grow, or to help us feel better about being stagnant and lazy.

Except for family members, we have a degree of control over who comes in and out of our lives, and certainly over who stays. We pick and choose those we want to use to lean on, to build ourselves up, to discuss ideas with, to help broaden our horizons, to enhance joy and happiness, or to share and thereby reduce misery and pain.

So, considering how we all use others, let’s discuss the best way to handle agreements and disagreements in our personal and even spiritual lives.

If you agree with me about an issue or topic, then I want to know why you agree. I want to know and understand the observations and thought processes that led to such agreement. After all, life has, on numerous occasions, shown me that I can be wrong.

Always a shocker, but it happens!

When we openly discuss why we think we are right with someone we respect, then new insights enter the picture that may lead both of us to form better, more appropriate or more useful conclusions about what we believe to be true.

An amazing example of thought provocation and productive dialogue is the Old Testament discussion between Job, all his friends and God which sorta climaxes with these words from God, to Eliphaz, “My wrath is kindled against you, and against your two friends: for you have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job has.”

How ‘bout that? Discussion! Between man and man and God and man! I love it!

Everybody human was “wrong” at some point in the unfolding of Job’s story, but ultimately God had the final say. He always does. 

And what about this passage from Isaiah, “Come now and let us reason together…”?

Hey – that is God talking to US! To you and me! He wants us - as families and friends, as a nation, perhaps even as strangers… to communicate!

If you disagree with me about an issue, I absolutely want to understand why you disagree. Disagreement affords us a better opportunity to grow and improve ourselves.

I have, over the past decade, come to the conclusion that a good question is better than a good answer - a good question being one that inspires, promotes or requires independent thinking, research and discussion.

Have you ever heard someone ask, “Where do you want to go for dinner?” and everybody in the group says “Wherever the others want to go.” I much prefer a lively debate over where we should eat dinner.

We are talking food here - a subject we all have opinions about, right? When we are alone, then according to our schedule and budget we can eat what we want. But in a group, oh well… the one who speaks up and has an opinion is usually the ONE who decides what restaurant will get everybody’s money.

It’s happening on all fronts. The ONE, or small group of ones who speak up, not only decides our food choices, but “our” apparel options, furniture or home designs, entertainment choices, school textbook content, heath care choices, etc.

I want to scream: WAKE UP! Think. Communicate! Be heard.

If you love somebody and truly care about them, don’t just tell them what you think they want to hear. That is lazy love, if it’s love at all. Be real. Be genuine as you grow together or grow apart, but grow you will when you communicate with others through courageous and honest dialogue.

Lazy, careless love? Brave, wise love? It’s your choice. Your life and legacy will reflect your choice. Tell me what YOU think at maryjaneholt@aol.com.

Yep! This opinionated woman would really like to know what you think… Who knows? YOU may be the next person to help me understand that I may be wrong about something!

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MARY JANE HOLT column for week of June 14, 2010

It was November 10, 2008, when I wrote and submitted for publication my last column. That was almost 22 years to the date from when I wrote the first one. Since then, I have been in a state of rebellion and disobedience.

Jonah understood that, as did King David. Because of them the Bible includes an amazing whale belly tale and countless comforting psalms with which we can all identify as life takes us through various states of rebellion, temptation, struggle and confusion.

In 1986, God called me out of a rewarding nursing career, to encourage you with the written word, to assure you that you are not alone in your struggles. He equipped me to do that and I

walked away from the calling. I truly am sorry.

As I seek once more now to obey, I want to share with you a special story that I wrote and posted back in February at my website… I hope you like the story. I hope you will allow me back into your hearts. Be assured: you never left mine.

I had hurried in and out of a major department store. In and out had been my plan. It was late afternoon. I did not feel well. I had things to do.

Excuses: we all have them.

So when the woman with the unbelievable smile approached with arms reaching out to me, I smiled and spoke, but I quickly eluded her embrace.

I had things to do.

My sons helped teach me to hug 30 years ago. I now am known for my hugs. I love hugging. I hug all ages, both sexes, friend and stranger alike. It is a rewarding gesture. So it was totally out of character for me to rush away from a potential hug… even from a total stranger!

Yet I did, and I fought tears all the way to my next appointment. I wanted to turn around and go back and give and receive that missed embrace, but I did not.

Three days later, I was sitting in the waiting area of a professional office when the door opened and in walked that same woman. Immediately, my inner voice whispered, “You are getting another chance.”

When the woman saw me, sure enough, her face lit up and she reached for me again. As two almost strangers embraced I felt overwhelming love flow from her body and hands, especially her hands, and her eyes. I was SO moved and blessed.

In a few short conversational moments I came to realize that the lady was around 80 years old and that she had dementia. I knew this from observation, but the gentle, loving and attentive daughter who was with her confirmed it.

Then, a couple of hours later I encountered the two of them at a local restaurant. Once more, when the lady saw me, she eagerly popped up from her meal and embraced me again. Her hug should be marketed!

Prayerfully and slowly I drove away a timely epiphany washed over me. My hero family of the day had just shown me that aged, Alzheimer affected ones do not have to sit alone and stare into emptiness as they await death… and yet that is a growing trend in American society.

At last two things may have to happen to reverse that trend.

ONE

Perhaps we all should fervently pray as I did on my tear soaked drive back home, “God, teach us how to reach out and touch; and if we should develop dementia, let loving gestures be so much a part of who we are that love can still flow through us to others. If all our other mental faculties fail, Lord, let us still be your vessel for pouring out your love in a world of people who foolishly think they are too busy to slow down and receive it.

TWO

Families who have become “too busy” must embrace imperfect loved ones of all ages as clearly this amazing woman’s extended hero family embraces her.

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